Hanged Man

Last few hours the only word hovering on my mind is the Hanged Man. THere have been certain times wherein for days /months together there was a word which constantly struck me every now and then. For Instance last year April 2009- Nov 2009 the word was transformation the Card of Death and yes some events did made me realise it was indeed time for Transformation. ( Knowing an event before it actually happens)
But what is scaring me is the Hanged Man this has always scared me along with the word destruction or Tower,it represents

Sacrifice ----- Letting go ----- Surrendering ----- Passivity
Suspension ----- Acceptance ----- Renunciation ----- Patience
New point of view ----- Contemplation ----- Inner harmony
Conformism ----- Nonaction ----- Waiting ----- Giving up

Looks like I am in the Uttter state or flow of---Transformation->Destruction-->Hanged Man ( very bad )..:( :( :( :(

True Indeed

In today' time it very easy to let go off things in life/relationships, avoid, revenge, dump & not hold on to IT.
But still there is a truth, beauty in going all the way through the drama, vacumm and still holding on to it. :)Cos it really tells you that you are indeed special

Have a Little faith in me

Ive been loving you, for such a long, long time
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend
Cause for us, there is no end
And all you gotta do, is have a little faith in me
And your love, gives me strength enough to
Have a little faith in me ....and yourself

Emotional Hydraulics

People who know kayaking and other river sports know that there are areas of the river where the water flows in a dangerous circular motion. Instead of moving forward, it turns back on itself. Such a spot can be almost impossible to escape from. In the same way, we can get stuck in emotional hydraulics.

There are periods of self-absorption. If you are self-absorbed, you refer everything back to your own interests and desires - nothing much gets in or out. It is a spot impossible to escape.

Sometimes continuous oppression leads to tiredness i.e: carrying out the same struggle again for too long with no acceptance. Another avenue could be apathy & indifference-i.e: no more temptation no matter how attractive the external may seem to, or simply leading to defensiveness i.e: neither acceptance or rejection.

Maybe it is all about soul searching, letting negative attitudes/patterns & non acceptance go away/letgo with positive self reflection & renewal ( whether accepted/cared by others or not)
&
Say "Though I may have lost my way, the light of truth has saved the day. Now every day, in every way, I am getting better and better and I will be on my way again".

Harvesting Season- Realization + Oppression

Ask a farmer about the harvesting season and it brings all smiles to him/her.
He /she reaps a bountiful reward for the hard work in his harvest and perhaps represents his/her own harvest usually after long struggle.
We have such harvesting moments/seasons. It clearly means to us -we have fulfilled a creative venture, realized a dream and now must deal with the consequences of that fulfillment.
The realization of a creative vision, however, often carries with it the weight of responsibility. It is so strange sometimes that in the entire process we are unwilling to let go of excessive responsibility or lack the freshness of the original vision after it has been fulfilled or we imbibe what we see around.


It is so funny in some cases when we start things we have the spirit of the Fool so carefree, excited not thinking about the pitfalls but as we move ahead we take too much burden. The burden is at times so difficult to let go or lead a balance approach because the venture & the realization suddenly has more worth than our own mental, emotional , spiritual health/existence.

Often we see in personal relationships ( which is very confusing) " one who bends backwards" takes responsibility to make it work and the other person is not even aware or ignores the fact that how much responsibility the other person is taking.

In all I am beginning to think-

Is it that the moment one feels- carrying the excess burden, heart in pain, oppression, giving too much, over committed one needs to stop working hard or at least pace oneself in a balanced way.

or

Is it knowingly/unknowingly misuse of one's energy

or

Is it one's destiny - i.e:One will have to fight uphill for every little gain. Each step will feel like a struggle which maybe only one's imagination

or

Is it the way how life is - Do your karma and never expect anything, it will all happen for you good

Soup for today

"A gentlemen goes to a restaurant and orders tomato soup. A few minutes pass and he changes his mind and changes his order to pumpkin soup. A few pass again and this time he changes his order to vegetable soup. He then gets upset and complains to the waiter that his soup is taking too long to arrive "

So the Point is to stick with one thing till you achieve it and be persistent. True indeed -every seed has a gestation period, so it may take time (sometimes.

Thinking Over

I been searching for a reason
and Im running out of time
I can feel its the season
its time to make up my mind

And I cant really tell u what i am gonna do
there are so many thought i my head
there are two road to walk down and one road to chose
thinking over the things u said

Am i ready forever
God show me a sig
Cos if were gonna be togehter
The its gotta be divine and
I cant really tell u what i am gonna do

There so may thought in my head
there are 2 road to walk down and one road to chose
thinking over the things u said

he wants to love me for life
he wants to be with me every morning i awake
he wants to hold me through the night
Father which way shud i go
i cant really see
O i really cant see..only u know help me the way.. even if I am at the edge.....