Truly Divine- Vincent Van Gogh

I am huge fan of Vincent Van Gogh- there is so much to him--his paintings, his life, his story, his eccentricity, his colors, his illusions, his inspirational quotes.... endless infact...He inspires me to this very day.

Few of his quotes which I like and make me think

sometimes & alter my thoughts & perceptions-

* Great things are done not by impulse, but by series of small things brought together :)

* Let us keep courage and try to be patient and gentle, Let us mind not being eccentric & make distinction between good and evil ...

* I wish they would take me as I am

* One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul & yet no one ever came to sit by it. Passers by only see wisp of smoke from the chimney & continue on their way

* The sunflower is mine

* There is no blue without yellow and orange

Broken Soul ----

Last few days trail of Cards have been --- Transformation ( death) --- Outsider----Let Go ---Tower--- 5 of cups in the Osho Zen .. Most predominatly for the nth time the Card of " Death" I guess this time with a shock....

Today I saw the cards of "Broken Souls " ... so this what it signifies :(

There will come a time when all things end; a death that leaves one gasping for hope; fighting to cling on; afraid to let go. There will come a time when dreams of happy endings are rudely awakened by reality; wisps of wishful thinking disappearing into smoke; gone without a trace.

There will come a time when the human heart breaks under such punishment; giving way to grief; dying bit by bit until it beats no more.One needs to learn to accept death as part of a natural cycle of life; deal with processes of letting things go; the need to move on.

Denotes an ending; thus we may need to ask ourselves if holding on to something or someone may be detrimental to our growth. The time to let go will come when we acknowledge the need to do so.

O' Druantia-O'Aengus

Lately have been drawing and seeing Card of Ascended Master- Aengus, hopefully the message is --" Showering of love and twin flame soon" ... (twich twich..blush blush ).

So I dedicate this ballad/song from W.B .Yeats to My Aengus---

THE SONG OF WANDERING AENGUS

I went out in the Hazel wood

Because a fire was in my head,

And cut and peeled a hazel wand

And hooked a berry to a thread

And when white moths were on the wings,

And moth like stars were flickering out,

I dropped a berry in a stream,

And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor,

I went to blow the fire- a-flame,

But someone rustled on the floor,

And someone called me by my NAME..

It had become a glimmering girl

With an apple blossom in her hair

Who called me by name & ran

Faded through the brightened day--air

Though I am old with wandering

Through hollow and hilly lands,

I will find out where she has gone

And Kiss her lips and take her hands,

And walk along the dappled grass

And pluck till time and times are done,

The silver apples of the moon

the golden apples of the sun.

Christmas Message

Christmas Christmas time is a time for love
Christmas is a time to love the ones you value most your one and only
Christmas time is a time to get in peace with God - your all father
Christmas time is a time of true happiness to be shared with all
Christmas is time to find oneself again
Christmas time is time to shower everyone with kindness, care and love
Christmas time is time flowering, adundance & adventure
Christmas truly is a time for joy , peace, love & prosperity.
Christmas is a time for heartfelt moments with everyone including God

Dance of Freedom

She is made to realise that she neither has any acting skills nor musical skills nor the self confidence.Alice does her small magical performance and expresses herself through a ballet dance. It was Alice who got Hana introduced to the Ballet dance which help Hana get rid of the shell she has been enclosed in, becoming the person she is today.

Just yesterday was watching the " Ballet Dance " of Alice from Hana and Alice I was again mesmerized for the nth time.

The dance reminds me of the " dance of freedom" which just like the "ballet dance" signifies freedom from constraints, relishing harmony and balance within oneself, working in co-operation with one's ownself. It signifies that no matter how high or low your state or how uncontrollable, it is the balance within which will slowly and steadily make you centered ( just like the

Dance of freedom is the frivolity, happiness, your own magic which managed to touch you like warm ray of sunshine touching your face...

A msytery unthinkable
Now to live is the life of my soul
A Fall just to save my soul
Come come all the lost and found
We're gonna dance dance dance
In the freedom we know
Cos the freedom we know is gonna Last forever & here to stay

STAND BACK - In the middle of the room

It's time to face up to the fact that the past is gone, and any effort to repeat it is a sure way to stay stuck in old blueprints that you would have already outgrown if you hadn't been so busy clinging to what you have already been through. Take a deep breath, put the box down, tie it up in a pretty ribbon if you must, and bid it a fond and reverent farewell. Life is passing you by, and you're in danger of becoming an old fossil before your time- (apparently which I am reminded of time and time again in some form or the other)

In all this ho hum of "past spaces" there is another almost abandoned space " Wait" In silence and waiting something inside you goes on growing--your authentic being. And one day it jumps and becomes a flame, and your whole personality is shattered; you are a new being. And this new being knows what ceremony is, this new being knows life's eternity ........MY ETERNAL BLISS....

WAIT FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT....STAND BACK ... SOMETIMES its alright to stand in the line :)

Clingy was here-- Forgot LET GO

Its very hard to let go of something even when you think in your head you have let go or have been rattling -Let go, precisely due to the reason that a small teeny weeny memory and kick start and back fire in a bad way, leading to absolute drainage of the emotional self & others.
These days my mind is hovering again with Transformation- Death +Tower along with Drainage ( five of coins)and CLingy ( 4 of coins). This combination is devastating I suppose as it seems to be cyclic.

More Pronounced of all is Clingy ( 4 of coins)--This card is not rigid but I would say Mr. Clingy. Having a desire to cling to a romance that your lover and maybe you have both outgrown; this holding on will pass when there is realization of futility. This tendency is to hold on and on and dig your own grave. Again it makes me feel of lack of vision or unable to put a stop to self-destructive cyclic pattern & combined with the loss, grief, wandering, loneliness.

Looks like I am again in the state-Destruction+ Clingy ( too bad)-->Hanged Man ( very bad )..:( :( :( :(

lastly I would say if you know me by now you will help me LET GO of CLINGY at any cost !!

Finding Neverland- Wonderland

This is one of the most beautiful pictures I have seen in a really long time. The reason why I copied it, is to precisely describe the essence of this picture

It gave me feeling of being in the Land of Narnias-something like straight from the fairyland, in some ways it seems to be beautiful painting in the olden times in America wherein the Red Indians resided. It makes me feel life is all about flowing and letting go ( which by far has been the most difficult thing for me).

The beauty of the picture is that every single object - talks for itself has so much life in it. The colors and entanglement of the roots,the light falling on certain angles, the path of the water flow, different colors of the leaves, every root has a different twist -like fate

A bridge which reminds me we are all here to bridge bonds no matter entangled they might be cos just like the water it all free flowing.

Completely mesmerised !!

Quote Chap

Totally taken aback was this one !!!

" Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something " by Henry David Thoreau.

Reminded me that too much of everything is simply not good, even if it out of honesty or generosity, maybe or is it a case of truly not valuing or really balancing is the answer for all !

Rebel

Rebel that is the word which I ve associated myself with, despite the fact that I tried permutations and combinations in my head to somehow be a revolutionary as rebel is more coined towards "sudden gush of action/emotiona which is uncontrolled or more unconscious and not alert"


I was extremely delighted today when I saw the Rebel Zen Card for myself- This is the description which i related on seeing the card which made me so HAPPY & RELATABLE ( strangely except the colors which had less of red):-

The powerful and authoritative figure in card is clearly the master of his own destiny. On his shoulder is an emblem of the sun, and the torch he holds in his right hand symbolizes the light of his own hard-won truth.

Whether he is wealthy or poor, the Rebel is really an emperor because he has broken the chains of society's repressive conditioning and opinions. He has formed himself by embracing all the colors of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky. His very way of being is rebellious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it. The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky.

The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.

In Short- rebel with alertness is the word !!!!

Ego Self-Blabbering

Ths is again related to my new found experience of figuring out & seeing the ego self and the higher self seperately..literally speaking !!! The immense love and union between the two makes me cry with happiness or because of my ignorance all this while. The relevation ( in progress) that you need to love yourself and never let yourself go away from yourself, be with yourself

Maybe its to do with my chakras opening up and the spirutal relevations & practices i have been doing over last 7-8 months.

--Ego self ( blabbering with loneliness)-I have had enuf of this parade and thinking of there are no words to say.. I open up on finished parts, broken up so many many parts.
--Ego Self ( sees the higher self)- When I see you , i know it will be next to me ... need to get closer....
--Higher Self- Lean on me now and forever !!!! :)
I will never leave you. :)
This is Anl- Haq !!!

Death-Transformation

I have always misunderstood and feared the Death card in tarot or tranformation card in Zen tarot but i recently realised this is what it actually means and its helpful,

a) just like a feeling when I visit Harmandir Sahib-Golden temple and bathe deep in the holy water and following which is sudden release of all fears and shackles followed by calmness and nothingness.


b) Freedom that allows for renewal. Sudden change brings fears of the unknown, but ultimately alters life in such a way as to initiate new growth. Natural course and progression of life. Lastly, Death is sometimes portrayed as a beautiful and dignified figure since dying can be seen as a blessing in release from suffering.

Change-- Two of coins

It has often been said that the only unchanging thing in the world is change itself. Life is continuously changing, evolving, dying and being reborn. All opposites play a part in this vast circular pattern. If you cling to the edge of the wheel you can get dizzy! Move toward the center of the cyclone and relax, knowing that this too will pass.

Sukh aur Chan

Today on my way to work i saw two states- Sukh and Chan

A fragile stone breaker was sitting in his broken tent ( which was home for him) with his wife and two sons was eating bread and playing with his kids and his wife on the other hand was baking bread. There was no shikan or upsetness on the man's face he seemed so calm and happy with his life. There was or atleast seemed he had Chan or peace of mind.
Metphorically The man might be working in scorching sun but he eventually gets shade and someone to walk on the same road.

On the other hand me standing on the other end of the road, watching them and thinking i have a good job a comfortable life but where is the time , who is there to share it with. I am running after a butterfly.I am searching for something which anyone can seek is within oneself.
Metaphorically- I work in scorching sun but eventually all i get is turns and more turns but no shade or respite and i keep walking alone and there is no one on that road.


Sukh aur chan alag hain... par jo yeh dekhein woh nain alag hai....chan hai tu aapna sukh hai paray....

Last Summer

I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
Laughing in the rain
Our Last Summer
We made our way along the river and sat on the grass
I was so happy we had met
It was the edge of no regret
It was a crazy time
I took my chance as if it was my last dance
Worries faraway..now you are faraway....
Now there is no hero of my dreams

Just Like- Stairway to Heaven

After a long time today I faintly heard GnR being played on some one's PC in the office. It brought back memories of difficult yet loving relationship/s to me which may or may not be existing today. Contradictingly --It even makes me dream of something which is still in hiding. It is one of my favourite songs.



When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
COs nothin lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle, In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just trying to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's letting go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowing that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walking
In the cold November rain

True Indeed

In today' time it very easy to let go off things in life/relationships, avoid, revenge, dump & not hold on to IT.
But still there is a truth, beauty in going all the way through the drama, vacumm and still holding on to it. :)Cos it really tells you that you are indeed special

Emotional Hydraulics

People who know kayaking and other river sports know that there are areas of the river where the water flows in a dangerous circular motion. Instead of moving forward, it turns back on itself. Such a spot can be almost impossible to escape from. In the same way, we can get stuck in emotional hydraulics.

There are periods of self-absorption. If you are self-absorbed, you refer everything back to your own interests and desires - nothing much gets in or out. It is a spot impossible to escape.

Sometimes continuous oppression leads to tiredness i.e: carrying out the same struggle again for too long with no acceptance. Another avenue could be apathy & indifference-i.e: no more temptation no matter how attractive the external may seem to, or simply leading to defensiveness i.e: neither acceptance or rejection.

Maybe it is all about soul searching, letting negative attitudes/patterns & non acceptance go away/letgo with positive self reflection & renewal ( whether accepted/cared by others or not)
&
Say "Though I may have lost my way, the light of truth has saved the day. Now every day, in every way, I am getting better and better and I will be on my way again".

Harvesting Season- Realization + Oppression

Ask a farmer about the harvesting season and it brings all smiles to him/her.
He /she reaps a bountiful reward for the hard work in his harvest and perhaps represents his/her own harvest usually after long struggle.
We have such harvesting moments/seasons. It clearly means to us -we have fulfilled a creative venture, realized a dream and now must deal with the consequences of that fulfillment.
The realization of a creative vision, however, often carries with it the weight of responsibility. It is so strange sometimes that in the entire process we are unwilling to let go of excessive responsibility or lack the freshness of the original vision after it has been fulfilled or we imbibe what we see around.


It is so funny in some cases when we start things we have the spirit of the Fool so carefree, excited not thinking about the pitfalls but as we move ahead we take too much burden. The burden is at times so difficult to let go or lead a balance approach because the venture & the realization suddenly has more worth than our own mental, emotional , spiritual health/existence.

Often we see in personal relationships ( which is very confusing) " one who bends backwards" takes responsibility to make it work and the other person is not even aware or ignores the fact that how much responsibility the other person is taking.

In all I am beginning to think-

Is it that the moment one feels- carrying the excess burden, heart in pain, oppression, giving too much, over committed one needs to stop working hard or at least pace oneself in a balanced way.

or

Is it knowingly/unknowingly misuse of one's energy

or

Is it one's destiny - i.e:One will have to fight uphill for every little gain. Each step will feel like a struggle which maybe only one's imagination

or

Is it the way how life is - Do your karma and never expect anything, it will all happen for you good

Soup for today

"A gentlemen goes to a restaurant and orders tomato soup. A few minutes pass and he changes his mind and changes his order to pumpkin soup. A few pass again and this time he changes his order to vegetable soup. He then gets upset and complains to the waiter that his soup is taking too long to arrive "

So the Point is to stick with one thing till you achieve it and be persistent. True indeed -every seed has a gestation period, so it may take time (sometimes.