The Gift
You have taken the east from me;
You have taken the west from me;
You have taken what is before me and what is behind me;
You have taken the moon, you have taken the sun from me;
You have taken my life, you took my soul from me;
And my fear is great that you have taken God from me!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
SPEAK YOUR MIND- Series Two
Change of Season
I never felt so young before, there was so much life to see
behind each and every door.
From being an aimless, confused engineer & MBA, I have unknowingly developed to being a competitive and career-oriented woman.I never know how this gradual shift in my mind came into existence but nonetheless its for the better.
Despite the good fact of having a drive to reach to the top, I somewhere keep questioning myself- is this what i really want ? is this whom I really want to be ? will i live up to my families expectations ? Am I just running a race wherein I eventually have to go back to basic again??
I guess most of the women of my genre are somewhere entangled in this thought of how to balance a great professional & great perosnal life. Is balancing the two really possible, I am still finding that out.
Coming to the point of whether i am doing what i really want to do, I am or people like me are still finding that out. Often i remember my desire to be a singer one day or a cooking expert on a TV show.
On my recent visits to some lands, i figured out there is so much more than career in life, life is not work, but somewhere its important to appreciate variuos other aspects of life-cooking, playing with kids, singing, painting, appreciating beauty, psychic readings. Not that I am becoming domesticated but feel my need pattern is changing, a need to be content and not forever running an endless marathon to achieve the end result only without even appreciating the components which finally make the end - the final result.
So may be
I think I finally understand
There is so much more I can be
I keep looking back at someone else
ME
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
SPEAK YOUR MIND- Series One
This article is dedicated to all my pals who have some what become BLOCK #$%^ HEADED & HEARTED.
When I was young i always thought that money is a just a mean to meet our daily needs in life.As I grew up, i saw my parents working hard to make a good living, taking care of me and my brother and not forget their dream of making a big house and few cars.
In this entire process of working hard their desginationsand incomes both improved majorly but one thing they never seemed to look down upon any person due their income group or profession.Interesingly they visited certain foreign lands during the early eighties which i think was quite remarkable for a couple like them to visit considering the fact that both belonged to villages (till the time they moved to a city).
I am stil proud of the fact desipte being "then foreign returned" they were culturally the same and treated all as equal.
IS IT THEY WERE AND ARE STILL VALUING THE SIGNIFICANCE OF BEING AN UTTERLY FAIR HUMAN BEING WITHOUT BEING BLOCKED BY MONEY/SUCCESS?
On the contrary when i see many of my generation indiviuals there is a certain air about most of the people about themselves,we have practically forgottenwhat is to be down to earth. Most of these people travel to foreign lands, make decent money in the start of their career, investing in properties but seems it gets the better of them and nothing is enough.
Interesingly its not intentional it is just that air of success which makes them so in-genuine fake, repulsive and walking in some one else's shoes. I really wonder does money & success changes an indiviual so much as a human being in the core.In my course of interaction with so many people, i have hardly met a soul of my generation who is not flying in the air, money oriented, gluttony and other aspects which fall in the same league.I graduated some few years back, surprisingly most of the indiviuals changed phenomenally from being a good human being tosome wierd, repulsive, over the hill top kind of people.
IS IT ALL THE FREQUENT TRAVELS, HIGH MONEY INFLOW, INCREASING PARITY POWER LEADING TO SENSE OF SUPERIORITY/PRIDE AND INGENUINITY. How sad is that !!
Hmmmm.... A noble soul's saying- Sometimes we keep improving our social persona ( the mask) when our inner mind and soul reach a stage of labelled as rot.
" Block Headed " Answer-No wonder this is just the start of our journey and we have many more lessons to learn in life, maybe something will get us back to basics at some point in life. Atleast someday !
When I was young i always thought that money is a just a mean to meet our daily needs in life.As I grew up, i saw my parents working hard to make a good living, taking care of me and my brother and not forget their dream of making a big house and few cars.
In this entire process of working hard their desginationsand incomes both improved majorly but one thing they never seemed to look down upon any person due their income group or profession.Interesingly they visited certain foreign lands during the early eighties which i think was quite remarkable for a couple like them to visit considering the fact that both belonged to villages (till the time they moved to a city).
I am stil proud of the fact desipte being "then foreign returned" they were culturally the same and treated all as equal.
IS IT THEY WERE AND ARE STILL VALUING THE SIGNIFICANCE OF BEING AN UTTERLY FAIR HUMAN BEING WITHOUT BEING BLOCKED BY MONEY/SUCCESS?
On the contrary when i see many of my generation indiviuals there is a certain air about most of the people about themselves,we have practically forgottenwhat is to be down to earth. Most of these people travel to foreign lands, make decent money in the start of their career, investing in properties but seems it gets the better of them and nothing is enough.
Interesingly its not intentional it is just that air of success which makes them so in-genuine fake, repulsive and walking in some one else's shoes. I really wonder does money & success changes an indiviual so much as a human being in the core.In my course of interaction with so many people, i have hardly met a soul of my generation who is not flying in the air, money oriented, gluttony and other aspects which fall in the same league.I graduated some few years back, surprisingly most of the indiviuals changed phenomenally from being a good human being tosome wierd, repulsive, over the hill top kind of people.
IS IT ALL THE FREQUENT TRAVELS, HIGH MONEY INFLOW, INCREASING PARITY POWER LEADING TO SENSE OF SUPERIORITY/PRIDE AND INGENUINITY. How sad is that !!
Hmmmm.... A noble soul's saying- Sometimes we keep improving our social persona ( the mask) when our inner mind and soul reach a stage of labelled as rot.
" Block Headed " Answer-No wonder this is just the start of our journey and we have many more lessons to learn in life, maybe something will get us back to basics at some point in life. Atleast someday !
Thursday, October 18, 2007
One Art
One Art
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) or is a disaster.
This poetry is by Elizabeth Bishop. Quite true, this is actually an art, and God just bestows some with this One Art of Losing everytime.
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) or is a disaster.
This poetry is by Elizabeth Bishop. Quite true, this is actually an art, and God just bestows some with this One Art of Losing everytime.
Friday, July 13, 2007
How to win
How to win
As you read you would fnd no co-relation between the article & the title, probably at the end of the article if you introspect you will reflect upon your own winning & losing times. The article is actually a xerox of what i realised, reflected and interestingly read at the same time.
The story is about a career oriented woman, who asks her husband for a divorce owing to the feeling of lack of senstivity,connection, boredoom, loss of faith and a few unexplained feelings.She said there was no way he could get her back but jokingly mentioned except one "
Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?" The said he would answer the next day. Next morning the woman finds out the man has left with a piece of note which read-
" I will not pick the flower for you, not at all, just read on"
When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.
You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.
You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs.
So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face...
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "
Then on the couple lived happily. ( Dunt know if the story is real for it for sure is not far from reality).
That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our life... Love, not words win- not matter in whichever form...
Thus -
There are no unforgiveable sins
There are no unliveable moments
There are no unlovable souls
There are no unlockable doors
So How to win !!!!!
As you read you would fnd no co-relation between the article & the title, probably at the end of the article if you introspect you will reflect upon your own winning & losing times. The article is actually a xerox of what i realised, reflected and interestingly read at the same time.
The story is about a career oriented woman, who asks her husband for a divorce owing to the feeling of lack of senstivity,connection, boredoom, loss of faith and a few unexplained feelings.She said there was no way he could get her back but jokingly mentioned except one "
Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?" The said he would answer the next day. Next morning the woman finds out the man has left with a piece of note which read-
" I will not pick the flower for you, not at all, just read on"
When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.
You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.
You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs.
So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face...
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "
Then on the couple lived happily. ( Dunt know if the story is real for it for sure is not far from reality).
That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our life... Love, not words win- not matter in whichever form...
Thus -
There are no unforgiveable sins
There are no unliveable moments
There are no unlovable souls
There are no unlockable doors
So How to win !!!!!
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Half way through the Gutter & the Stars *********
Sometimes we keep walking halfway through the gutter and the stars-in the mind/consciousness. At times we just keep moving endlessly without any purpose or direction endlessly giving pleas & excuses
WEll the half way of being in Gutter and star is primarily means concentrating most of the times on plastic feelings than the real achievement - the Star( real emotions).Plastic feelings /gutter feeling never break - anger, dominance, pride, ego, obsessiveness and others on the same league which are bound never to break, the real feelings/emotions- love, forgiveness, care, patience, self giving break so easily. Well the world of plastic & real is new to me.Take for instance - a plastic flower will never dry, a real flower will dry & die. change is inevitable , a real flower will die after sometime.
After a long time heard of the word impermanance, gutter leading way to the stars, probably a state of chaos & possibly death of the attitudes, behavior, old patterns, outlook & even moments.
It reminds me of a friend who had a ligament tear and the learnings she had out of it. Its like the falling ( due to dreaming/excessiveness), ligament tear leading to anger, frustration, probably being alone etc.all internal to her. Thus all plastic feelings.
On the positive side of it what did it pave the way for--patience, not to hurry up in life,be a lil free, etc. and so much more. Truly leading to a positive side & change in outlook & patterns ( applaude). In the entire process of moving from plastic to real was a journey.
Sometimes the path from Gutter to the stars leads to sorrow, defeat of so called emotions some real lot more plastic.The journey is usually chaotic but what is achieved is real- again a vicious circle of satisfaction and time & time again unlearning the learned & vice versa.
* Interestingly the other side, the real flowers are born out of a strong root, even if it dies it again grows maybe in a different colour or kind. But it is again real. So a vicious circle- true & real emotions never die. * ;)....;)....;)
Sometimes we keep walking halfway through the gutter and the stars-in the mind/consciousness. At times we just keep moving endlessly without any purpose or direction endlessly giving pleas & excuses
WEll the half way of being in Gutter and star is primarily means concentrating most of the times on plastic feelings than the real achievement - the Star( real emotions).Plastic feelings /gutter feeling never break - anger, dominance, pride, ego, obsessiveness and others on the same league which are bound never to break, the real feelings/emotions- love, forgiveness, care, patience, self giving break so easily. Well the world of plastic & real is new to me.Take for instance - a plastic flower will never dry, a real flower will dry & die. change is inevitable , a real flower will die after sometime.
After a long time heard of the word impermanance, gutter leading way to the stars, probably a state of chaos & possibly death of the attitudes, behavior, old patterns, outlook & even moments.
It reminds me of a friend who had a ligament tear and the learnings she had out of it. Its like the falling ( due to dreaming/excessiveness), ligament tear leading to anger, frustration, probably being alone etc.all internal to her. Thus all plastic feelings.
On the positive side of it what did it pave the way for--patience, not to hurry up in life,be a lil free, etc. and so much more. Truly leading to a positive side & change in outlook & patterns ( applaude). In the entire process of moving from plastic to real was a journey.
Sometimes the path from Gutter to the stars leads to sorrow, defeat of so called emotions some real lot more plastic.The journey is usually chaotic but what is achieved is real- again a vicious circle of satisfaction and time & time again unlearning the learned & vice versa.
* Interestingly the other side, the real flowers are born out of a strong root, even if it dies it again grows maybe in a different colour or kind. But it is again real. So a vicious circle- true & real emotions never die. * ;)....;)....;)
Monday, June 11, 2007
Sunshine- Ma
My Sunshine
Like a baby opening his or her eyes for the first time, you may be feeling as if you are seeing a brand new world. Perhaps your perspective on things has taken a dramatic change- This is way how we feel each time Mrs. Sunshine- Ma leads us on to different levels of consciousness
All these years i keep yapping to my mother about different problems I face each time. She as usual sits unpeturbed , listening and actually opening doors to my hurdles in just a minute.
She is giving, sacrificed, gets hurt and still never complains, infact all these years she never complaint. I believe most of us say the same about our mothers.
Sometimes I think about the children who forever in their lives keep yearning for a loving Sunshine - Ma. I recently met a school pal in a shoe shop , she is now a mother of 2 year old. The moment I started talking about her baby, she became more excited about the conversation, in between she did mention how much love she wants to shower on her baby, the love she missed & yearned all through her life. Also giving me the details about motherhood.
After meeting her i felt and just re-winded in my mind, My Sunshine -Ma has sacrificed so much for me. Every thing she does i so unconditional, ego-lessness. As if it is state of her life a prayer for her.
A prayer which is just a monologue, open , silent sky with no clouds or no thoughts , just an "Ibadat" a prayer. ( Ibadat is a persian word).
I feel I am very fortunate to have my Sunshine-My Ma with whom I can live, share my emotions, my feelings, my sorrows, infact my life with her.. OOps... its not only me, I am her best friend, the little girl on whom her hopes liven and so much more to her.
True I will miss her when i go, but again a lot of it I will truly witness, feel and live when my kids will call me "MA".
Like a baby opening his or her eyes for the first time, you may be feeling as if you are seeing a brand new world. Perhaps your perspective on things has taken a dramatic change- This is way how we feel each time Mrs. Sunshine- Ma leads us on to different levels of consciousness
All these years i keep yapping to my mother about different problems I face each time. She as usual sits unpeturbed , listening and actually opening doors to my hurdles in just a minute.
She is giving, sacrificed, gets hurt and still never complains, infact all these years she never complaint. I believe most of us say the same about our mothers.
Sometimes I think about the children who forever in their lives keep yearning for a loving Sunshine - Ma. I recently met a school pal in a shoe shop , she is now a mother of 2 year old. The moment I started talking about her baby, she became more excited about the conversation, in between she did mention how much love she wants to shower on her baby, the love she missed & yearned all through her life. Also giving me the details about motherhood.
After meeting her i felt and just re-winded in my mind, My Sunshine -Ma has sacrificed so much for me. Every thing she does i so unconditional, ego-lessness. As if it is state of her life a prayer for her.
A prayer which is just a monologue, open , silent sky with no clouds or no thoughts , just an "Ibadat" a prayer. ( Ibadat is a persian word).
I feel I am very fortunate to have my Sunshine-My Ma with whom I can live, share my emotions, my feelings, my sorrows, infact my life with her.. OOps... its not only me, I am her best friend, the little girl on whom her hopes liven and so much more to her.
True I will miss her when i go, but again a lot of it I will truly witness, feel and live when my kids will call me "MA".
Monday, May 28, 2007
Repent -Be Still & Know
Re-realization- The karma factor
Last week I read some books of Osho - again reading & introspection was something which I gave up since years. In my current phase of introspection like many others I felt ,always a feeling of "Repent".
Recently visited a chapel, I met the sister whom I knew since I was 10 years, I was aimlessly & endlessly crying confessing of how much I have feeling of "Repentance", the confessions of guilt & loneliness. Even narrated the episode of giving so much importance to money & not people.
Interestingly some hours back was enlighted.According to Jesus- "Repent" simply means " Return" by no means it mean"repentance", which is feeling of guilt and confession. Turn in means returing to the source i.e" returning to your own being- introspect, confess & work on all the wrongs that you have done.
Very Clear- Repent is not ugly, its not arrogance, only guilt, confession but returning to oneself- not to waste time, accept & improve on the consciousness- the karma.Interestingly Awareness leads to another ascpect you will feel you never committed a sin. I mentioned that happiness is in realization but I further realise it is more enlighted in karma- consciousness.
No salvation is needed, all what is needed is to shake up & wake up--- (even if it sometimes turns to be too late & again not to be accepted again & again)
Truly --- Best things in life are free, every time I discover what you mean to me !!
Last week I read some books of Osho - again reading & introspection was something which I gave up since years. In my current phase of introspection like many others I felt ,always a feeling of "Repent".
Recently visited a chapel, I met the sister whom I knew since I was 10 years, I was aimlessly & endlessly crying confessing of how much I have feeling of "Repentance", the confessions of guilt & loneliness. Even narrated the episode of giving so much importance to money & not people.
Interestingly some hours back was enlighted.According to Jesus- "Repent" simply means " Return" by no means it mean"repentance", which is feeling of guilt and confession. Turn in means returing to the source i.e" returning to your own being- introspect, confess & work on all the wrongs that you have done.
Very Clear- Repent is not ugly, its not arrogance, only guilt, confession but returning to oneself- not to waste time, accept & improve on the consciousness- the karma.Interestingly Awareness leads to another ascpect you will feel you never committed a sin. I mentioned that happiness is in realization but I further realise it is more enlighted in karma- consciousness.
No salvation is needed, all what is needed is to shake up & wake up--- (even if it sometimes turns to be too late & again not to be accepted again & again)
Truly --- Best things in life are free, every time I discover what you mean to me !!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
In Love- Always on the Rocks
In Love- The original sin
Long before- Adam & Eve after eating the fruit of knowledge got awareness, they felt ashamed. The reason awareness lead to ego, the fruit of knowledge created ego. Ego created the idea of superiority.
Interestingly in today's world our Adams & Eves see no beyond their Ego and superiority- coined as my priorties, my need, my dreams, my desire ( In Short everything revolving around the word -"I" not "Us"). Forgiveness, acceptance in this jet age - I guess are rare to find. Despite all the anger and frustration of being cheated, not being accepted, not been forgiven, not enough love, not enough time for me still we dont desire for a Sacchrine or homeopathic form of love.
Lets call our Ego & Superiority driven Adam & Eve - Popo & Roro ( respectively ;))
The interesting form of Roro & Popo's relationship is- Problem of misunderstanding. Both are in different worlds, the poles of consciousness are opposite.
Roro is Intutive - Popo is intellectual. Our lady Roro jumps to conclusion with any thought process. Popo has this problem of coming hard to a conclusion but Roro just jumps to conclusion. Popo doesnt know he cannot deceive Roro ( simple natures funda).
Popo's mind goes zig-zag and Roro our lady is direct just like an arrow. Our man Popo doesnt realise, she never listens only looks in the eyes and here the man is caught- Roro always read the body language or the tone.
There is forever conflict between Roro & Popo, always on the rocks. Popo cannot fall asleep, Roro will not allow him too or vice versa. They go on goading each other. Still Roro truly loves , trusts Popo and vice versa .That is what is " Love", " Attraction", " Forgiveness- atleast trying to".
Roro and Popo are just examples, with a man & woman there is bound to be conflict, ego, tussle. It is the tussle which makes both of them go far far away and again and again creates situations of mini honeymoons. Interestingly not sacchrine at all.
The awareness of relationship between a man & a woman is deep, only by going deep will they get know what is or what are they short of. Despite all it never brings in contentment. The Love, the ego, the tussle, trust brings in element of deph, adventure, surprise, more understanding, improvement, ability to accept- Ofcourse more nagging.
What I really feel is it is essential to witness it and to witness bonding of love & trust . Someone mentioned to me once, it is the same for Love :
There are no unlockable doors
There are no unwinnable wars
There are no unforgiveable sins
There are no unrightable wrongs
There are no impossible dreams
There are no unliveable moments
I guess the same goes for "Love"- The original sin --- Always on the rocks ;)
Raat hai tu savera bhi hoga hai savera tu basera bhi hoga !!
Long before- Adam & Eve after eating the fruit of knowledge got awareness, they felt ashamed. The reason awareness lead to ego, the fruit of knowledge created ego. Ego created the idea of superiority.
Interestingly in today's world our Adams & Eves see no beyond their Ego and superiority- coined as my priorties, my need, my dreams, my desire ( In Short everything revolving around the word -"I" not "Us"). Forgiveness, acceptance in this jet age - I guess are rare to find. Despite all the anger and frustration of being cheated, not being accepted, not been forgiven, not enough love, not enough time for me still we dont desire for a Sacchrine or homeopathic form of love.
Lets call our Ego & Superiority driven Adam & Eve - Popo & Roro ( respectively ;))
The interesting form of Roro & Popo's relationship is- Problem of misunderstanding. Both are in different worlds, the poles of consciousness are opposite.
Roro is Intutive - Popo is intellectual. Our lady Roro jumps to conclusion with any thought process. Popo has this problem of coming hard to a conclusion but Roro just jumps to conclusion. Popo doesnt know he cannot deceive Roro ( simple natures funda).
Popo's mind goes zig-zag and Roro our lady is direct just like an arrow. Our man Popo doesnt realise, she never listens only looks in the eyes and here the man is caught- Roro always read the body language or the tone.
There is forever conflict between Roro & Popo, always on the rocks. Popo cannot fall asleep, Roro will not allow him too or vice versa. They go on goading each other. Still Roro truly loves , trusts Popo and vice versa .That is what is " Love", " Attraction", " Forgiveness- atleast trying to".
Roro and Popo are just examples, with a man & woman there is bound to be conflict, ego, tussle. It is the tussle which makes both of them go far far away and again and again creates situations of mini honeymoons. Interestingly not sacchrine at all.
The awareness of relationship between a man & a woman is deep, only by going deep will they get know what is or what are they short of. Despite all it never brings in contentment. The Love, the ego, the tussle, trust brings in element of deph, adventure, surprise, more understanding, improvement, ability to accept- Ofcourse more nagging.
What I really feel is it is essential to witness it and to witness bonding of love & trust . Someone mentioned to me once, it is the same for Love :
There are no unlockable doors
There are no unwinnable wars
There are no unforgiveable sins
There are no unrightable wrongs
There are no impossible dreams
There are no unliveable moments
I guess the same goes for "Love"- The original sin --- Always on the rocks ;)
Raat hai tu savera bhi hoga hai savera tu basera bhi hoga !!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Inner Voice 1- Healing Centre
Hope trust - Healing Centre
This article is based on my interaction with a Person-A & very close to me currently in the Healing Centre- A drug Rehabilition Centre & some research.
Person 1
A 29 year old, a reserved gentleman, a brown sugar drug addict since the age of 21. Intially took drugs for fun, gradually got addicted to it. Due to drug addiction he wasnt able to graduate. He fellow friends moved on with their lives.He cannot recover from the damage caused to his life due to addiction. Its been 2 weeks he has been in the rehab, he still feels aimless.
Person 2
A 30-35 year old, married with a child. A drug addict, his history- Broken Love, his version his hopes, dreams died eversince he was forced to marry elsewhere. Now a loner, very reserved, was forcibly left at the rehab he has no aim and no intention to survive or live.
Person 3
A 19 year old student pursuing engineering from a top-notch engineering college. Tried drugs for fun, got addicted , his parents realized his early symptoms and today in some days he will be going home.
Unlike the above three, Person 4- A 23 year old, only child of a rich businessman died due to brain haemorrage due to drug overdose, he too felt he led an aimless life. Sad but true !!
Interestingly most the people at the healing centres are indiviuals who feel or felt majorly dejected, stresses, lonely at various phases of life. On meeting the family members of Person -A, i felt grief, in the real sense addiction is a family disease.
I have seen his parents cry, curse themselves, feeling guilty all the time, sucidical tendency. In short -very de-stable.The family memebers of the addicts go through an emotional roller coaster which is never ending.
As the problem increased of the addicts the family becomes more emotionally ill, suppressed, isolated, having sucidial tendency.The family members experience- Guilt, shame, grief, anger,denial, low self worth,humiliated, terrible loneliness.
Person A is currently in The Healing Centre- has special therapy sessions & various communication courses. These courses focus on making the indiviual- share experiences, find out root problems, improve on self worth,be acceptable to self& the world,disciplined ( not to take life and people for granted).
Along with the therapy sessions of the indiviual there are certain counseling sessions, pshyco-therapy sessions, family therapy sessions too. There are certain detox processes involved in the healing process- all of which have withdrawal symptoms- it is quite shocking to see an indiviual in that stage.although the detox stages are notably maintained specifically but it is the emotional detox which is the most difficult as it takes considerable to chnage the emotional health of a person.
Person A is currently in a long term treatment course, this can vary from 4-5 months to mor than a year depending on the healing up stage of the person.
What i found by interaction & reserach is - these treatment sessions focus on examine damaged emotional state, re-build self worth, self belief & concepts, adaptability to living again in the external environment,ability & strength to face the world again, behaviorial patterns, interaction with others & accept oneself.
During the initial of the course it is required to be determine the extend of the addiction of the indiviual based on which certain therpaies & counseling sessions are formed. This is again important as this is very delicate & the indiviual is very defensive.The recovery procedure at the Healing Centre is to unlearn a habit,to willing work out a solution, Recovery it is to be stable in one's life long after the treatment too.
Another fact Person A has been in the Healing Centre for the third time. I alway pray I see the same Person A whom i knew eversince i was a kid.
Sometimes I really think, there have been various stages in our lives when we feel worth less & seek a helping hand. This could be due to a drug problem or emotional problem, In fact we all need is a HEALING TOUCH- Ek pyar ki jhappi !!
This article is based on my interaction with a Person-A & very close to me currently in the Healing Centre- A drug Rehabilition Centre & some research.
Person 1
A 29 year old, a reserved gentleman, a brown sugar drug addict since the age of 21. Intially took drugs for fun, gradually got addicted to it. Due to drug addiction he wasnt able to graduate. He fellow friends moved on with their lives.He cannot recover from the damage caused to his life due to addiction. Its been 2 weeks he has been in the rehab, he still feels aimless.
Person 2
A 30-35 year old, married with a child. A drug addict, his history- Broken Love, his version his hopes, dreams died eversince he was forced to marry elsewhere. Now a loner, very reserved, was forcibly left at the rehab he has no aim and no intention to survive or live.
Person 3
A 19 year old student pursuing engineering from a top-notch engineering college. Tried drugs for fun, got addicted , his parents realized his early symptoms and today in some days he will be going home.
Unlike the above three, Person 4- A 23 year old, only child of a rich businessman died due to brain haemorrage due to drug overdose, he too felt he led an aimless life. Sad but true !!
Interestingly most the people at the healing centres are indiviuals who feel or felt majorly dejected, stresses, lonely at various phases of life. On meeting the family members of Person -A, i felt grief, in the real sense addiction is a family disease.
I have seen his parents cry, curse themselves, feeling guilty all the time, sucidical tendency. In short -very de-stable.The family memebers of the addicts go through an emotional roller coaster which is never ending.
As the problem increased of the addicts the family becomes more emotionally ill, suppressed, isolated, having sucidial tendency.The family members experience- Guilt, shame, grief, anger,denial, low self worth,humiliated, terrible loneliness.
Person A is currently in The Healing Centre- has special therapy sessions & various communication courses. These courses focus on making the indiviual- share experiences, find out root problems, improve on self worth,be acceptable to self& the world,disciplined ( not to take life and people for granted).
Along with the therapy sessions of the indiviual there are certain counseling sessions, pshyco-therapy sessions, family therapy sessions too. There are certain detox processes involved in the healing process- all of which have withdrawal symptoms- it is quite shocking to see an indiviual in that stage.although the detox stages are notably maintained specifically but it is the emotional detox which is the most difficult as it takes considerable to chnage the emotional health of a person.
Person A is currently in a long term treatment course, this can vary from 4-5 months to mor than a year depending on the healing up stage of the person.
What i found by interaction & reserach is - these treatment sessions focus on examine damaged emotional state, re-build self worth, self belief & concepts, adaptability to living again in the external environment,ability & strength to face the world again, behaviorial patterns, interaction with others & accept oneself.
During the initial of the course it is required to be determine the extend of the addiction of the indiviual based on which certain therpaies & counseling sessions are formed. This is again important as this is very delicate & the indiviual is very defensive.The recovery procedure at the Healing Centre is to unlearn a habit,to willing work out a solution, Recovery it is to be stable in one's life long after the treatment too.
Another fact Person A has been in the Healing Centre for the third time. I alway pray I see the same Person A whom i knew eversince i was a kid.
Sometimes I really think, there have been various stages in our lives when we feel worth less & seek a helping hand. This could be due to a drug problem or emotional problem, In fact we all need is a HEALING TOUCH- Ek pyar ki jhappi !!
Friday, May 18, 2007
"IN"---Neverland
" IN"
Climb until thee falls in,
Walk on by alongside the new grass,
Music is spinning above,
Glittering & sparkling above
Turn around and embrace it all.
Dream on for the moment
Chisel will cut it,
They will sharpen it until thee returns
Forever lost in the net
Swing in like the play
Sleep for you are in..in...Neverland!!
Few lines about Neverland- Our Dreams. Have ever had a dream which was for sure -real.. Have you ever been able to distinguish between the real & reel dream worlds...Have you ever felt you are forever finding Neverland !!
I wrote when i was 21, just typed it rightaway the moment i opened my school time scribble pad. :)
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Best Things in life are free !!!
Its all about the money.. its all about the dum dum dida dum dum..Its all about the money.. and I guess we got it all wrong all the way, we show do strange things of showing how much we care, when we dont seem to care all Its all about the money !!- Song by Mandy Moore !!
Question is Where is all the love.. where is my conscience !!
Witnessing from the Misfortunes of my own and others, I realised that money can never sober you.The desire to earn more, makes one blindfolded.Recently felt that protecting money is the only obession left in today's world.. the "MONEY" has so much control over our lives that we tend to forget ---Money is meant to be used for oneself & for others , not be buried in the back yard... its something which you cannot take to your grave.
I was once asked-- would i spend my time with the children in the orphange i.e: spend time give them a feeling that someone is still willing to take care of them.. wants them..Contrary to that my answer was I would donate money to the orphange.. just like anybody i considered money to be the most important possession of life. As they say money can never buy love care and happineess..very true !!
i think about those children and people who are living their life in loneliness & despair who know at every moment of their life they need to witness all by themselves. The very feeling that atleast someone for moment could tell them how important they are, how worthy they are to be loved , to be fed and not be left in a state of non-acceptance.I feel great respect for the person who made me realise that money is just one component of life and that happiness lies within, happiness can be gained by giving love, affection to people who need it- something which i forgot eversince I left school.
In my quest to reach to the top & self actualise, my philosophy- to be overwhelmed by money-- a guiding factor to control my life. Its true for many people of my generation. we have forgotten- conscience. According to Shakespere Richards III play ( quote) :
My conscience has thousands several tongues, every tongue has several tales and every tale condemns me as a villian
Perhaps this is called self realisation- the form to re-discover self and experiencing transformation.Truly money can not always bring happy moments, the warmth of a loved one, the little surpirses, the tears of happiness, the abundance of love, and ofcourse the enlightenment & realisation..
Best things in life are free.... now that i discovered what you mean to me !!
Question is Where is all the love.. where is my conscience !!
Witnessing from the Misfortunes of my own and others, I realised that money can never sober you.The desire to earn more, makes one blindfolded.Recently felt that protecting money is the only obession left in today's world.. the "MONEY" has so much control over our lives that we tend to forget ---Money is meant to be used for oneself & for others , not be buried in the back yard... its something which you cannot take to your grave.
I was once asked-- would i spend my time with the children in the orphange i.e: spend time give them a feeling that someone is still willing to take care of them.. wants them..Contrary to that my answer was I would donate money to the orphange.. just like anybody i considered money to be the most important possession of life. As they say money can never buy love care and happineess..very true !!
i think about those children and people who are living their life in loneliness & despair who know at every moment of their life they need to witness all by themselves. The very feeling that atleast someone for moment could tell them how important they are, how worthy they are to be loved , to be fed and not be left in a state of non-acceptance.I feel great respect for the person who made me realise that money is just one component of life and that happiness lies within, happiness can be gained by giving love, affection to people who need it- something which i forgot eversince I left school.
In my quest to reach to the top & self actualise, my philosophy- to be overwhelmed by money-- a guiding factor to control my life. Its true for many people of my generation. we have forgotten- conscience. According to Shakespere Richards III play ( quote) :
My conscience has thousands several tongues, every tongue has several tales and every tale condemns me as a villian
Perhaps this is called self realisation- the form to re-discover self and experiencing transformation.Truly money can not always bring happy moments, the warmth of a loved one, the little surpirses, the tears of happiness, the abundance of love, and ofcourse the enlightenment & realisation..
Best things in life are free.... now that i discovered what you mean to me !!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Phoneix
Every day I die but I am born to be reborn the next moment
Cos the ashes of my existence is the one with which i carry on !
Every twinkling star in the sky is the reminder of my lost innocence
The Innocence which I know, I will see in " Myself" one day " Again"!
Some thoughts , which remind me every day that I have to move on even when everything else seems to be stand still !
Cos the ashes of my existence is the one with which i carry on !
Every twinkling star in the sky is the reminder of my lost innocence
The Innocence which I know, I will see in " Myself" one day " Again"!
Some thoughts , which remind me every day that I have to move on even when everything else seems to be stand still !
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Me Too...
I try to reach a place,
A safety zoneI try to separate myself, be my ownI try to find that one solemn ground
I try to make it through with no one around
The harder things in life I want to surpass
The many special bonds I want to last
The wrong choices I won't regret
The path ahead I shouldn't fret
A shoulder to cry on I'll always find
A memory so clear, embedded in my mind
A tear once cried from my unending pain
A heart once broken and the strength I gained
Nobody can try to break me, make me fall
I may be physically short, but I stand tall
So maybe you think nobody understands
But I say you're not alone, come take my hands
A safety zoneI try to separate myself, be my ownI try to find that one solemn ground
I try to make it through with no one around
The harder things in life I want to surpass
The many special bonds I want to last
The wrong choices I won't regret
The path ahead I shouldn't fret
A shoulder to cry on I'll always find
A memory so clear, embedded in my mind
A tear once cried from my unending pain
A heart once broken and the strength I gained
Nobody can try to break me, make me fall
I may be physically short, but I stand tall
So maybe you think nobody understands
But I say you're not alone, come take my hands
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