Coat - UnCoat
---There are no repeat orders in life
---Reverse attitudes work as a therapy for self and the other
---Shrimps taste good with or without the dressing on the side
--Vomitting is good for inner self
--Some dishes in life are forever unexpectedly delicious & magical
---Your toothache will increase if you knowingly chew hard & useless things.
---If you carelessly keep ironing your nylon shirt pocket at MAX, one day it bound to burn & show
---Some Signposts are just blank or scribblings , no use interpreting them . Better to move your way
---A tailor will always wear the worst clothes even when he stitches/dresses people in the best of them.
---Best of the poems sometimes dont rhyme but have a mesmerizing rhythm
--- Best things in life are free :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Figure Out !!!
Cece- Cant decide about all this dress.
Fifi- Isnt it simple, you know what you want? Right?
Cece- I dont know, what I want!!
Fifi- Is it so hard to decide to dress?
Cece- The dress fits perfectly well, but the color is slightly light.
Fifi- Then dont leave it buy it, it fits too well.
Cece- I dont know, maybe something better is waiting. But it is what I want or need and yet I am not sure.
How easy it to enter into such conversations in our daily lives. Here we referring to the generation who cannot decide about irrelevant stuff, Question ---how can they ever decide about making decisions around important things & committments. (btw commitment w.r.t relnshp, work, responsility etc.)
Over the few years I realised & seen how easy it to dribble with the destiny or rather leave it all to the destiny without taking the pain to make a commitment or take a decision.
I guess thats why most of the people are hung up about so many things in life, work, relationships etc. constantly living a shallow life both internally & externally as if living in constant state of fear and swearing not to resolve it either.
or
Is really indecision a conscious decision not to let go off the fear & resolve it
or
Is really indecision a means to live a guilt free & easy life.
Fifi- Isnt it simple, you know what you want? Right?
Cece- I dont know, what I want!!
Fifi- Is it so hard to decide to dress?
Cece- The dress fits perfectly well, but the color is slightly light.
Fifi- Then dont leave it buy it, it fits too well.
Cece- I dont know, maybe something better is waiting. But it is what I want or need and yet I am not sure.
How easy it to enter into such conversations in our daily lives. Here we referring to the generation who cannot decide about irrelevant stuff, Question ---how can they ever decide about making decisions around important things & committments. (btw commitment w.r.t relnshp, work, responsility etc.)
Over the few years I realised & seen how easy it to dribble with the destiny or rather leave it all to the destiny without taking the pain to make a commitment or take a decision.
I guess thats why most of the people are hung up about so many things in life, work, relationships etc. constantly living a shallow life both internally & externally as if living in constant state of fear and swearing not to resolve it either.
or
Is really indecision a conscious decision not to let go off the fear & resolve it
or
Is really indecision a means to live a guilt free & easy life.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Happy Kurta Day
Some moments in life just uplift you spirit or mood atleast for a moment no matter how insignificant they might be or might sound to someone else.
I wasnt keeping well for the past one month and felt dull, upset , sick .Today i went for lunch with my colleague and from there we went to fabindia for a quick look out.
It was the same dull boring me walking around as if half dead.
In Fab India i was searching for a nice kurta.I searched
and searched,some items were too expensive, some too monotonous ,
some too boring ( the usual girls stuff) seemed as if nothing fits
in or rather I dont fit in.
In this entire process of searching for Kurta (with already low self
esteem & dullness within me) I suddenly got too upset inside,
feeling absolutely useless, my eyes for a fraction of second just
filled with tears and even more sad and just started linking it with
my life and recent happenings as if hell again bent lose.
" But as they say life is a box of chocolates you never know what you are gonna get."
Suddenly my colleague found a kurta, i tried it on. I dont know what happened when i saw myself in mirror wearing it, it elevated my mood and I suddenly felt inside as if i have finally found something.
I was really jumping like a child , actually felt I am happy again. It might not change the happenings around but it really made feel more strong, peaceful & happy inside.
Strangely sometimes we say to ourselves---" Too many walls have been build in between us too many dreams have been shattered around us but deep in my heart i know that the strength is within" ;)
I wasnt keeping well for the past one month and felt dull, upset , sick .Today i went for lunch with my colleague and from there we went to fabindia for a quick look out.
It was the same dull boring me walking around as if half dead.
In Fab India i was searching for a nice kurta.I searched
and searched,some items were too expensive, some too monotonous ,
some too boring ( the usual girls stuff) seemed as if nothing fits
in or rather I dont fit in.
In this entire process of searching for Kurta (with already low self
esteem & dullness within me) I suddenly got too upset inside,
feeling absolutely useless, my eyes for a fraction of second just
filled with tears and even more sad and just started linking it with
my life and recent happenings as if hell again bent lose.
" But as they say life is a box of chocolates you never know what you are gonna get."
Suddenly my colleague found a kurta, i tried it on. I dont know what happened when i saw myself in mirror wearing it, it elevated my mood and I suddenly felt inside as if i have finally found something.
I was really jumping like a child , actually felt I am happy again. It might not change the happenings around but it really made feel more strong, peaceful & happy inside.
Strangely sometimes we say to ourselves---" Too many walls have been build in between us too many dreams have been shattered around us but deep in my heart i know that the strength is within" ;)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Namaste
When I was young girl of 4 years whenever I used to greet someone I used to say--
" Namsate Namaste chole khao saste" , laugh and run away. Little did and knew then and know what Namaste really means ( I am sure many of us still dont---Shame)
In India & Nepal Namaste is a way of universal greeting which is offered to everyone. When one says Namaste it means " I give you light"
Namah + te = Namaste
Where ( Namah = The holy name of light" and Te = you)
Even for that matter when you say "Hello" it is also a form of saying "Halo".. which means giving light. So next when you say Hello or Namaste , you finally know you have been saying all these years
" Namsate Namaste chole khao saste" , laugh and run away. Little did and knew then and know what Namaste really means ( I am sure many of us still dont---Shame)
In India & Nepal Namaste is a way of universal greeting which is offered to everyone. When one says Namaste it means " I give you light"
Namah + te = Namaste
Where ( Namah = The holy name of light" and Te = you)
Even for that matter when you say "Hello" it is also a form of saying "Halo".. which means giving light. So next when you say Hello or Namaste , you finally know you have been saying all these years
POWER OF MISS COMMUNICATION
An incident i read on a friend's blog about the power communications- A woman goes to a doctor for ECG etche checks and says NO THRILL. The woman interprets it as vulgar and passes the message to others too. On discussion of the report the doctor says NO THRILL, on asking what it meant, the Answer was- Fast LUB DUB sound of the Heart
My o my... Here we are again always falling into our designs & imaginations of interpretations, literally clinging on towords/sentences which mean entirely something else. The above was just a communication between a patient and a doctor.
Worst is when we experience similar situation in our personal relationship. Our next film plot has miscommunication between two people very close to each other. Dammit its the Hero and the heroine !!!
The Heroine is nagging on and on about the disinterest of the hero and our hero is forever busy in setting his career and life. On a lovely Saturday morning with a sweet discussion enters the Queen of Miscommunication, the heroine says something which sounded offending , when the purpose was to communicate something else and something different got communicated & altogther a different aspect was understood by the hero. Interestingly the hero is very annoyed with the heroine and simply refuses to talk. Btw the superstar hero is Popo and heroine is Roro.:)The film plot is not moving any further of this miscommunication.....
Well the same happens in real life too, just like the film plot. Thus three components of sender ( like heroine) and receiver ( hero) communication
1) Context/purpose under which the incident happened or discussion started.
2) Sentence framing and possible meaning on completion-- written /spoken ( which may /maynot be in sync what one was trying to communicate) :)
3) Context Understood by the receiver---( which maybe mere picking of words in the communication & as per one's imagination/ understanding )However the same maynot true and sinply not in line with the context at all or mi interpreted
Interestingly, thats the POWER OF MIS-COMMUNICATION. Defintion of miscommunication-
An attempt to explain which may not be expressed correctly ( as per language, words, gestures) , which is wrongly understood out of one's whims and fancies . Note:-To further increase its intensity the best option is to stop talking. ( i guess men are best at it)
Guess the lessons learnt :-
Sender
• Dunt talk too much ( except a roaring presentation when ure boss and super boss are around )
• Dunt debate when people are not particularly happy with you
• When being told " cut the conversation it will turn bad" .Learn to keep ure trap shut then & there.
• Pick words with care & dont be aggressive
• Remember your mis communication can affect your life
• Dont talk/ discuss about comparison ( unless at work)
• Dont nag ( esp women)
Receiver
• The topic is just a discussion not to be taken personally
• Understand slippage of words do happen ( with particularly women :))
• Be understanding everything is not a means to hit your ego ( esp men)
• If someone explains a point .give them a chance to explain ( esp after or during mis-commnucation)
• Dont ignore the person & forgive - believe me ignoring is not worth it
• Dont jump to conclusion
• Understand maybe the other person (woman) is going through a bad time. Understand atleast
The Power of miscommunication is great , ripples and after effects but i guess the PERSON/IDEA itself has to be more important than only the mis communication or pride/ ego. Well all make mistake.Its not worth cutting ties or stop communicating for a mis communication. Not at all.... There always a chance and chances ;)
Well as for now I am just waiting and saying Amen
My o my... Here we are again always falling into our designs & imaginations of interpretations, literally clinging on towords/sentences which mean entirely something else. The above was just a communication between a patient and a doctor.
Worst is when we experience similar situation in our personal relationship. Our next film plot has miscommunication between two people very close to each other. Dammit its the Hero and the heroine !!!
The Heroine is nagging on and on about the disinterest of the hero and our hero is forever busy in setting his career and life. On a lovely Saturday morning with a sweet discussion enters the Queen of Miscommunication, the heroine says something which sounded offending , when the purpose was to communicate something else and something different got communicated & altogther a different aspect was understood by the hero. Interestingly the hero is very annoyed with the heroine and simply refuses to talk. Btw the superstar hero is Popo and heroine is Roro.:)The film plot is not moving any further of this miscommunication.....
Well the same happens in real life too, just like the film plot. Thus three components of sender ( like heroine) and receiver ( hero) communication
1) Context/purpose under which the incident happened or discussion started.
2) Sentence framing and possible meaning on completion-- written /spoken ( which may /maynot be in sync what one was trying to communicate) :)
3) Context Understood by the receiver---( which maybe mere picking of words in the communication & as per one's imagination/ understanding )However the same maynot true and sinply not in line with the context at all or mi interpreted
Interestingly, thats the POWER OF MIS-COMMUNICATION. Defintion of miscommunication-
An attempt to explain which may not be expressed correctly ( as per language, words, gestures) , which is wrongly understood out of one's whims and fancies . Note:-To further increase its intensity the best option is to stop talking. ( i guess men are best at it)
Guess the lessons learnt :-
Sender
• Dunt talk too much ( except a roaring presentation when ure boss and super boss are around )
• Dunt debate when people are not particularly happy with you
• When being told " cut the conversation it will turn bad" .Learn to keep ure trap shut then & there.
• Pick words with care & dont be aggressive
• Remember your mis communication can affect your life
• Dont talk/ discuss about comparison ( unless at work)
• Dont nag ( esp women)
Receiver
• The topic is just a discussion not to be taken personally
• Understand slippage of words do happen ( with particularly women :))
• Be understanding everything is not a means to hit your ego ( esp men)
• If someone explains a point .give them a chance to explain ( esp after or during mis-commnucation)
• Dont ignore the person & forgive - believe me ignoring is not worth it
• Dont jump to conclusion
• Understand maybe the other person (woman) is going through a bad time. Understand atleast
The Power of miscommunication is great , ripples and after effects but i guess the PERSON/IDEA itself has to be more important than only the mis communication or pride/ ego. Well all make mistake.Its not worth cutting ties or stop communicating for a mis communication. Not at all.... There always a chance and chances ;)
Well as for now I am just waiting and saying Amen
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Reflection
Every time we return home, we put the key in the lock and open the door. We don't pay attention to the key or the lock. We perform this task mechanically. That is, until one day we come home and the key does not enter the lock -- or when we try to turn the key and the lock will not open. When that happens, suddenly we pull out the key and examine it very closely. We then see that the key is bent, dull and getting worn. We notice the lock is also getting worn. Suddenly we pay attention to the key and the lock. The key and the lock were in that worn state for quite a while, but we didn't notice it until it messed up externally.
When things are moving smoothly in our life, and we feel comfortable with them, we tend to fall asleep.It creates confusion with their external nature. This confusion causes us to hesitate and reflect. This reflection is a powerful catalyst for understanding the inner, deeper nature of the life lesson . In the Vedic sense, we are not necessarily here to be happy. Happiness is a part of life, but we are here to learn the truth about who we really are. Some circumstances as such are 'strong' in delivering that lesson to us.
It is these circumstances or these confusions which create a powerful reflective nature in an indiviual and area neglected was lieing deep within them.
I read this concept in bits and pieces in some articles. So in the true sense it more of a borrowed concept, just fabricated in some different words
When things are moving smoothly in our life, and we feel comfortable with them, we tend to fall asleep.It creates confusion with their external nature. This confusion causes us to hesitate and reflect. This reflection is a powerful catalyst for understanding the inner, deeper nature of the life lesson . In the Vedic sense, we are not necessarily here to be happy. Happiness is a part of life, but we are here to learn the truth about who we really are. Some circumstances as such are 'strong' in delivering that lesson to us.
It is these circumstances or these confusions which create a powerful reflective nature in an indiviual and area neglected was lieing deep within them.
I read this concept in bits and pieces in some articles. So in the true sense it more of a borrowed concept, just fabricated in some different words
Monday, November 17, 2008
How old are you??- Part 2
Whenever I think about or come across the serial no. stating relationship status there is a certain chill which goes through my body of realizing that I am now in my late twenties ( i.e.: not 25/26 anymore)in another few years will be 30.
I usually get perturbed with the fact that it is still considered a taboo, curse when your relationship status speaks aloud “SINGLE WOMAN”. With all hoo- humm about modernism it is still considered social ill which usually indicates that you are some wanton woman who has some lascivious desires and cannot settle for one man.( Infact its the species called as males who happy to be "Single Man" who cannot settle for one woman becouse of their some non sensical theories..Kidding)
Infact in my ripe & hay days when i was 22/23 years old I have heard woman boss saying about another woman boss in her thirties “Oh look 34 now and still single must be sleeping around what a slut “. I said inside aloud “God save us, why did you educate us”.
I sometimes fail to understand why it is a social stigma to be single woman (either by choice, divorce, widow or a failed marriage). Is it really a sin to crawl out the ego dented, social pigeon holes and be who you are. I had known of a certain someone who got married at 26 and eventually left the unfulfilling marriage at 26 ½, she is now 36 happy living an independent life and recently found a cute boyfriend too. I am not too sure if it is fine to live a silent sorrow in an emotional prison. (be it a marriage or a love relationship).
Most of us believe that in this modern independent times with generation ABC & XYZ of fancy gizmos, internet, games etc. we feel the deeper self within us will still remain the same not fully understanding that somewhere there is a need to adapt to change and for heaven sake not call a woman a social responsibility to be disposed off.
Is it really not fair to take time to choose your Mr. Right?? Does it mean that she has to be considered Ms. Wrong to choose her Mr. Right & Success? Is it really something wrong in being single (in late twenties or thirties), kinda aiming for success and most importantly being a woman? Is it really wrong to be a woman??
I usually get perturbed with the fact that it is still considered a taboo, curse when your relationship status speaks aloud “SINGLE WOMAN”. With all hoo- humm about modernism it is still considered social ill which usually indicates that you are some wanton woman who has some lascivious desires and cannot settle for one man.( Infact its the species called as males who happy to be "Single Man" who cannot settle for one woman becouse of their some non sensical theories..Kidding)
Infact in my ripe & hay days when i was 22/23 years old I have heard woman boss saying about another woman boss in her thirties “Oh look 34 now and still single must be sleeping around what a slut “. I said inside aloud “God save us, why did you educate us”.
I sometimes fail to understand why it is a social stigma to be single woman (either by choice, divorce, widow or a failed marriage). Is it really a sin to crawl out the ego dented, social pigeon holes and be who you are. I had known of a certain someone who got married at 26 and eventually left the unfulfilling marriage at 26 ½, she is now 36 happy living an independent life and recently found a cute boyfriend too. I am not too sure if it is fine to live a silent sorrow in an emotional prison. (be it a marriage or a love relationship).
Most of us believe that in this modern independent times with generation ABC & XYZ of fancy gizmos, internet, games etc. we feel the deeper self within us will still remain the same not fully understanding that somewhere there is a need to adapt to change and for heaven sake not call a woman a social responsibility to be disposed off.
Is it really not fair to take time to choose your Mr. Right?? Does it mean that she has to be considered Ms. Wrong to choose her Mr. Right & Success? Is it really something wrong in being single (in late twenties or thirties), kinda aiming for success and most importantly being a woman? Is it really wrong to be a woman??
How Old are you -Part 1
How Old are you???
How old are you???
There were many a times when my cousins & friends used to call me at odd hours asking for relationship advice & fixations (wow). Finally a few got married and others got into serious relationships. Just a few days back my cousin (btw whom I had helped for 4 years in her relationship crisis & finally saw her marrying/passing with flying colors & who left her job ) called me at 4 am to have an important conversation. Guess what the Important conversation was all about (typical Punjabi style):-
Cousin (calling at 4am) - Hey How are you??
Me (in sleepy voice) - Was sleeping!!
Cousin (exicted) - Hey I have to talk something important
Me (cursing the stars) - Ye go on! Is Mr. N okay??
Cousin (happy)—Yes Yes, He loves me dearly, we frequently make love!! You know na I am happily married now.
Me (confused)—Then why are you calling me at 4 am??
Cousin (in a sad tone)—I was thinking about you today??
Me (astonished)—After all these months, you finally though about me at 4 am??
Cousin (excited tone)—Do you meet guys, some nice ones??
Me (confused, irritated)—Yes mostly jerks
Cousin (again sad tone)—Worried about you yaar, you are not settled??
Me (shocked)—I am working, I am kinda settled in my work now.
Cousin (saddest tone) - Who will take you, you are so old now, age is increasing.. worst no boyfriend also. My in-laws’ said-- Your parents must be feeling ashamed of having an old daughter at home now. Entire family is feeling sad, you are social responsibility
.Leave work just get married.
Me (super-shocked, angry at 4:30 am)—Social responsibility???
Cousin (super-saddest tone mixed with anger)—Yes ... it’s a social & personal taboo you will be never be accepted fully well in the society, not atleast not here—Babe your relationship status defines who you are. Just marry anyone it’s too much now!!
Me (Super-duper shocked and thinking) --- How old am I??
How Old am I?
ow Old am I?
How old are you???
There were many a times when my cousins & friends used to call me at odd hours asking for relationship advice & fixations (wow). Finally a few got married and others got into serious relationships. Just a few days back my cousin (btw whom I had helped for 4 years in her relationship crisis & finally saw her marrying/passing with flying colors & who left her job ) called me at 4 am to have an important conversation. Guess what the Important conversation was all about (typical Punjabi style):-
Cousin (calling at 4am) - Hey How are you??
Me (in sleepy voice) - Was sleeping!!
Cousin (exicted) - Hey I have to talk something important
Me (cursing the stars) - Ye go on! Is Mr. N okay??
Cousin (happy)—Yes Yes, He loves me dearly, we frequently make love!! You know na I am happily married now.
Me (confused)—Then why are you calling me at 4 am??
Cousin (in a sad tone)—I was thinking about you today??
Me (astonished)—After all these months, you finally though about me at 4 am??
Cousin (excited tone)—Do you meet guys, some nice ones??
Me (confused, irritated)—Yes mostly jerks
Cousin (again sad tone)—Worried about you yaar, you are not settled??
Me (shocked)—I am working, I am kinda settled in my work now.
Cousin (saddest tone) - Who will take you, you are so old now, age is increasing.. worst no boyfriend also. My in-laws’ said-- Your parents must be feeling ashamed of having an old daughter at home now. Entire family is feeling sad, you are social responsibility
.Leave work just get married.
Me (super-shocked, angry at 4:30 am)—Social responsibility???
Cousin (super-saddest tone mixed with anger)—Yes ... it’s a social & personal taboo you will be never be accepted fully well in the society, not atleast not here—Babe your relationship status defines who you are. Just marry anyone it’s too much now!!
Me (Super-duper shocked and thinking) --- How old am I??
How Old am I?
ow Old am I?
Free Will-Part 2
KARMA & FREE WILL----
Karma by defintition is what is put on us which is usually inflicted upon by the cosmos. In short--Action also.
Free Will is what I will do myself irrespective of cosmos or any other agency.
As per the philosophy of some school of thought there are things which actually inspire the karma. ( Usually Karma philosophy is followed by most faiths and doctrines which are widely followed).
As per Philosophy of typically some schools in Hinduism & Buddhism believe there are different types of Karma
• Sanchita Karma- These are the accumulated actions, which typically
means the sum total of the karmas from past lives, this being
either good or bad cannot be changed either some say even by Prayers,
mantras or tantras. (This is also more prudent if the karma is
associated with the Fixed Sign)
• Prabhadra Karma- These correspond to the actual motion or the
actions set for us. It says it is the portion of the sanchita karma
which is actually reaping the fruit now e.g.: appearance, associations,
personal associations.etc. As per the Astaka Varga Bindus calculations
it can be found out what domain the individual needs to work more
towards and what can be obtained easily ( though there are other
factors contributing too)
• Agami Karma – It means coming or arriving. This is the karma which
one needs to create now to eventually bear the fruit now or later.
Interestingly as per the philosophy Shatyamsa Chart can help in understanding the karmic underbelly also (means the downfall of a specific karma).
Again what I read in Rohinaa--
God has created the humans impowered by free will. Human can choose to follow path of light or shadow/dark. Where is choice there must be free will but then subject changes from philosophy to sociology and then there is a question how far can the person reach beyond the ground firmed by social background.
I am not sure whether all or none of it is true but I do believe it is during the course of the journey we do realise how each of the philosophy might fit perfectly in circumstances each time bearing a different outcome/fruit everytime, sometimes by applying the same philosophy.
Karma by defintition is what is put on us which is usually inflicted upon by the cosmos. In short--Action also.
Free Will is what I will do myself irrespective of cosmos or any other agency.
As per the philosophy of some school of thought there are things which actually inspire the karma. ( Usually Karma philosophy is followed by most faiths and doctrines which are widely followed).
As per Philosophy of typically some schools in Hinduism & Buddhism believe there are different types of Karma
• Sanchita Karma- These are the accumulated actions, which typically
means the sum total of the karmas from past lives, this being
either good or bad cannot be changed either some say even by Prayers,
mantras or tantras. (This is also more prudent if the karma is
associated with the Fixed Sign)
• Prabhadra Karma- These correspond to the actual motion or the
actions set for us. It says it is the portion of the sanchita karma
which is actually reaping the fruit now e.g.: appearance, associations,
personal associations.etc. As per the Astaka Varga Bindus calculations
it can be found out what domain the individual needs to work more
towards and what can be obtained easily ( though there are other
factors contributing too)
• Agami Karma – It means coming or arriving. This is the karma which
one needs to create now to eventually bear the fruit now or later.
Interestingly as per the philosophy Shatyamsa Chart can help in understanding the karmic underbelly also (means the downfall of a specific karma).
Again what I read in Rohinaa--
God has created the humans impowered by free will. Human can choose to follow path of light or shadow/dark. Where is choice there must be free will but then subject changes from philosophy to sociology and then there is a question how far can the person reach beyond the ground firmed by social background.
I am not sure whether all or none of it is true but I do believe it is during the course of the journey we do realise how each of the philosophy might fit perfectly in circumstances each time bearing a different outcome/fruit everytime, sometimes by applying the same philosophy.
Free Will- Part 1
Free Will-
Sometime back I read a few articles on Free Will from different school of thoughts. Though many people find this as boring non sensical topic but it actually opens up a realm of diverse concepts, outlooks and some way to understand life in itself.
In laymen's term Free Will is the ability of any being to respond and act as per one 's reflexes or choices without any intervention or constraint from the external environment eg: fate, god, karma etc.This in some societies can easily be related to existenialism, nihilism, atheist etc
Free Will is a part of Freedom and there is nothing like unfree will if considered in the view of Freedom. However there are many school of thoughts which propogate differently "Free Will". I have read a few times about existenialism, nihilism, theists etc. at a young age ( actually when i couldnt even comprehend half the things).
A few concepts which I understood from Rohinaa ( others may differ from these)which are applied in different circumstances by an indiviual :O)---
• Determinism -This school views that all events
are the necessary results of previous causes, that everything that
happens has a cause.Sounds More like the Philosophy of Hinduism
• Compatibilism- It views that free will still
emerges out of a deterministic universe even in the absence of
metaphysical uncertainty. Clearly stating irrespective of the previous
causes there still is internal free will emerging and which leads to
an event ( irrespective of the previous cause)
• In compatibilism-It views that there is no way to
reconcile a belief in a deterministic universe with actual free will.
Clearly stating that if we keep believing in previous events and cause
there will be no Free will
• Libertianians- It views that individuals do have
metaphysical freedom and which therefore rejects determinism. Completely
denying the previous events and cause relationship and paving way
for Voluntarism.
• Indeterminism- It views that there is no Free Will
Aristotle, Plato, Socrates etc all believed in different school of thought.
Interestingly some school of thoughts believe than in the randomness of justice and injustice inflicted on different beings and if there is a suscipion or believe of Supreme Power or God or Controller there is a balance between the Karma and Free Will.....KARMA & FREE WILL
Sometime back I read a few articles on Free Will from different school of thoughts. Though many people find this as boring non sensical topic but it actually opens up a realm of diverse concepts, outlooks and some way to understand life in itself.
In laymen's term Free Will is the ability of any being to respond and act as per one 's reflexes or choices without any intervention or constraint from the external environment eg: fate, god, karma etc.This in some societies can easily be related to existenialism, nihilism, atheist etc
Free Will is a part of Freedom and there is nothing like unfree will if considered in the view of Freedom. However there are many school of thoughts which propogate differently "Free Will". I have read a few times about existenialism, nihilism, theists etc. at a young age ( actually when i couldnt even comprehend half the things).
A few concepts which I understood from Rohinaa ( others may differ from these)which are applied in different circumstances by an indiviual :O)---
• Determinism -This school views that all events
are the necessary results of previous causes, that everything that
happens has a cause.Sounds More like the Philosophy of Hinduism
• Compatibilism- It views that free will still
emerges out of a deterministic universe even in the absence of
metaphysical uncertainty. Clearly stating irrespective of the previous
causes there still is internal free will emerging and which leads to
an event ( irrespective of the previous cause)
• In compatibilism-It views that there is no way to
reconcile a belief in a deterministic universe with actual free will.
Clearly stating that if we keep believing in previous events and cause
there will be no Free will
• Libertianians- It views that individuals do have
metaphysical freedom and which therefore rejects determinism. Completely
denying the previous events and cause relationship and paving way
for Voluntarism.
• Indeterminism- It views that there is no Free Will
Aristotle, Plato, Socrates etc all believed in different school of thought.
Interestingly some school of thoughts believe than in the randomness of justice and injustice inflicted on different beings and if there is a suscipion or believe of Supreme Power or God or Controller there is a balance between the Karma and Free Will.....KARMA & FREE WILL
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Ajj Ankhan Waris Shah Nu
My mother was a voracious reader of many Punjabi poets, writers. She sometimes in one of her happy moods recites poems from few of her favorites. I remember her humming Ajj Akhan Waris Shah nu ( hoping i was correct). In the last 2 years I have read a few a punjabi poems and stories. I havent been able to explore much because of my inability to read, write both Punjabi & Urdu well ( actually 90%). Out of the few ajj akhan waris shah nu was one and i unknowingly keep reciting it.
Aaj Akhan Wairs Shah nu-- This is written by an Indian Writer and Poet, also one of first promninent Punjabi woman poetess, writer & essayists.She was equally loved
both in India as well in Pakistan. The Poem was written by Amirta Pritam Singh or Amrita Kaur voiced the blood soaked memories of the millions during the Partition.
Below are few of my favorite lines from the poem ( The poem is a long one).
aj aakhan Waris Shah nu, kiton kabraan vichchon bol,
te aj kitab-e-ishq daa koi agla varka phol
ik roi si dhi Punjab di, tun likh likh maare vaen,
aj lakhaan dhian rondian, tainun Waris Shah nun kaehn
Today, I call Waris Shah, “Speak from your grave”
And turn, today, the book of love’s next affectionate page
Once, a daughter of Punjab cried and you wrote a wailing saga
Today, a million daughters, cry to you, Waris Shah
jitthe vajdi si phuuk pyaar di, ve oh vanjhali gayi guaach
Raanjhe de sab veer aj, bhul gaye uhadi jaach
dharti te lahoo varsiya, kabraan paiaan choan,
preet diaan shaahzaadiaan, aaj vichch mazaaraan roan
Lost is the flute, which once, blew sounds of the heart
Ranjha’s brothers, today, no longer know this art
Blood rained on our shrines; drenching them to the core
Damsels of amour, today, sit crying at their door
aj sabbhe Kaido` ban gaye, husn, ishq de chor
aj kitthon liaaiye labbh ke Waris Shah ik hor
Today everyone is, ‘Kaido;’ thieves of beauty and ardour
Where can we find, today, another Warish Shah, once more
Aaj Akhan Wairs Shah nu-- This is written by an Indian Writer and Poet, also one of first promninent Punjabi woman poetess, writer & essayists.She was equally loved
both in India as well in Pakistan. The Poem was written by Amirta Pritam Singh or Amrita Kaur voiced the blood soaked memories of the millions during the Partition.
Below are few of my favorite lines from the poem ( The poem is a long one).
aj aakhan Waris Shah nu, kiton kabraan vichchon bol,
te aj kitab-e-ishq daa koi agla varka phol
ik roi si dhi Punjab di, tun likh likh maare vaen,
aj lakhaan dhian rondian, tainun Waris Shah nun kaehn
Today, I call Waris Shah, “Speak from your grave”
And turn, today, the book of love’s next affectionate page
Once, a daughter of Punjab cried and you wrote a wailing saga
Today, a million daughters, cry to you, Waris Shah
jitthe vajdi si phuuk pyaar di, ve oh vanjhali gayi guaach
Raanjhe de sab veer aj, bhul gaye uhadi jaach
dharti te lahoo varsiya, kabraan paiaan choan,
preet diaan shaahzaadiaan, aaj vichch mazaaraan roan
Lost is the flute, which once, blew sounds of the heart
Ranjha’s brothers, today, no longer know this art
Blood rained on our shrines; drenching them to the core
Damsels of amour, today, sit crying at their door
aj sabbhe Kaido` ban gaye, husn, ishq de chor
aj kitthon liaaiye labbh ke Waris Shah ik hor
Today everyone is, ‘Kaido;’ thieves of beauty and ardour
Where can we find, today, another Warish Shah, once more
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Taste of Cherry
Taste of Cherry
Taste of Cherry , 1997 is an Iranian Movie, directed by Abbas Kiarostami. I read somewhere that Kiarostami said "There are films that "nail you to the seat and overwhelm you to the point that you forget everything, but you feel cheated later".
And I suppose you feel this way when you watch the movie " the movie nails you to your seat & overwhelm you but for a purpose.Interestingly a slow paced movie can also do it.
Taste of cherry is a rather slow paced movie compared to many movies( specifically the Bollywood Movies). The story is about a desperate man hell bent to commit suicide and makes attempts to enlist people to help him get buried. Will he find a compassionate man to favor him?? What was inside of him which was made him desperate to bury himself?? Does he actually die?? This must be sounding like a Greek Aesopian fable but the movie goes deeper in to the dimensions of life and emotions, themes of human nature and complexity, act of suicide in it self.
It took me a few days to stop thinking about the movie, the deseparate man, other protognasits, the suicide, human legacy of living & other questions & meanings. To me the movie talked of many more meanings than the usual plot and melodrama.
It interestingly points out, what was there that probed a middle aged man, so financially sound like him desire to suicide and bury himself.In all probablities the reason could have been very narrow but much more deeper.
Is boredoom & emptiness in itself such a big reason for creating a burial for self. Is suicide or self burial not legitmate? Interestingly none of the religious doctrines of all faith, maybe people around, life around
could not convince the desperate man to change his mind for the pain inflicted on him?? Is it really possible to find a true and compassionate person to do you a favor??
Interestingly in the deseprate man's odyssey to find a compassionate man to favor him, he faces so many rejections which eventually make him feel even more rejected. Even when one finds a compassionate man who does the act of burial for the happiness of other is still an ambigious concept.
From the movie it seems the desire for committing is suicide is more than the reason it self. Maybe it is desire which needs to respected??? Maybe this again is ambigious....
The various protognaists their nature, mood, life could not move the desperate man to change his mind or was it really he wasnt moved?? Is the movie really about exitenialism or is it really about a man and his lost life & his zeal to live???
Indeed the taste of cherry is what lead the deseprate man to live again but it was again the taste of cherry which fills in the blank & creates his desire to end his life, infact it becomes his quest to end his life.
Its my favorite movie yet I am not sure if i can truly watch this movie without taking away my once Existentialist thoughts away.
Monday, November 10, 2008
" 2 Mauch"
too much mint but not well enough summer
too much money but not well enough opportunity
too much talk but not well enough connection
too much stuff but not enough space
to much icing but not enough cake
too much to think but not well enough to say
too much variety but not enough happiness
too much water but not enough tears
too much teaching but not enough learning
too much power but not enough sense
too much to give but not well enough to receieve
too much blue but not enough sky
too much life but not enough change
too much change but not enough reasons
too much reasons but not enough love
too much love and yet not well enough
too much money but not well enough opportunity
too much talk but not well enough connection
too much stuff but not enough space
to much icing but not enough cake
too much to think but not well enough to say
too much variety but not enough happiness
too much water but not enough tears
too much teaching but not enough learning
too much power but not enough sense
too much to give but not well enough to receieve
too much blue but not enough sky
too much life but not enough change
too much change but not enough reasons
too much reasons but not enough love
too much love and yet not well enough
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Movie-Rabbit-Proof Fence
RAbbit- Proof Fence... The moment you read this you might be thinking whats there to write about rabbits and proof fences. I hope not !!
Interestingly this is the name of an Australian movie released in 2002. The movie is adopted from the book Follow the Rabbit-Proof Fence by Doris. THe movie or the book ( which I am yet to read)is about the life of the author's mother Molly Craig, her younger sister - Daisy and there cousin Gracie Fields.
The story is about Molly who along with Daisy & Gracie who are mixed race aboriginals girls ran away from the Moore River in Perth, Australia to return to their aboriginals tribe. The three girls are claimed to be mixed raced aborginals and forcibly sent taken from their mother in Jialong and sent to
Moore River.They try to escape following the Rabbit Proof fence ( there are three fences in which runs from the north coast of Western Australia to Sothern part) which is pest exclusion fence.
There journey is very interesting & touching to see how the three girls managed to escape from Neville each time, (who was then supposed to be the Protector of the aboriginals), Modoo (another aboriginal who is helper to Neville), prison garbs, dogs, dog troppers and meeting other supporters like Mavis.The girls crossed a flooded river, sand dunes, heathlands, wheatbelt, mallee country, gibber plains, red dust, salt lake. They slept in dug-out rabbit burrows, caught and cooked rabbits, and ate bibijali, a kind of sweet potato, and karkula, a wild banana.
When their legs were weary, sore and infected by grass cuts, Molly piggy-backed Daisy, & Gracie in turn.
Sad but true only two of the girls Molly and Daisy make it and eventually meet their mother after 9 weeks of travel on foot everyday they walked 40 miles. Gracie on the other hand is tricked by the authorities and eventually get caught and never makes it to Jialong too.
Actually they never heard of Gracie again. In the end its the happy Molly and Daisy with their community.
Interesingly the Author of the Book- Doris herself was forcibly taken away from her mother Molly at age 4 to Moore river in Perth going through the same facility as her mother. It was after 25 years did Doris meet her mother Molly, they didnot talk much
and neither was she aware of her mother's captivity too and her escapism until her Aunt Daisy did'nt tell her the story.The author wrote this book in 1985 but it never got published she again re0interviewed her mother & aunt and eventually the book got
published in 1996 and the movie was made in 2002 which i saw in 2007. :)
The main characters Molly & Daisy were still alive during the making of the movie at age 85 & 79 years old living in Jialong region.The movie Rabbit-Proof fence was premiered in Jialong too ( a remote location in Western Australia of the Mardudjara community) with a population of 300-500. The guest of honor was Molly and it was her first movie premier, infact the first movie she had ever seen. Infact all through the movie she kept saying she wants to go home :)
Sadly molly died at age 87 in 2004. After seeing the movie and hearing the songs i did say "yes indeed 1500 miles would had a been a long walk home for you Molly & Daisy" and quite true "Her legacy is the calming influence and quiet dignity of the desert women, and the stolen generations story,which looked at you straight in the eye"
Movie-Kikujiro
I recently watched a Japanense movie --Kikujiro No Natsu meaning Kikujiro's Summers. The story is in chapters which goes like this....
There a young boy Masao who lives in Tokyo with his grandmother. One summer day he receives a package with a seal and details of his lost mother.
She lives in Toyahasi in Japan some many miles faraway. Upon this the little boy gathers his little bagpack with some 5000 yen to meet his mother.
On the way he meets his neighbours Kikujiro (an ex-yakuza, bad mannered man & bad mouthed, not fond of kids) and his wife. Kikujiro's wife forces him to go with Masao. Kikujiro initially has
no plans to take Masao to his mother instead he goes to the horse races, gamble and splurge all the money.
Kikujiro's mind changes he saves Masao from a Child Molestor in park. They then head to Toyohashi where they stay a lavish hotel only to find out there is hardly
any money left.. from there on starts there real journey when the taxi breaks down and they have to take down to hitch hiking ( you must watch it to see kikujiro's funny actions)
They get lifts from juggler, poet etc.. On reaching Toyohashi and the address.. They find out that Masao's mother has married another man and has a daughter.
Contrary to what expected and known she lived a very different life and forgotten Masao. Kikujiro rushes back to Masao and says that his mother has moved away
even when he knew that Masao has seen his mother.Masao runs around crying. Kikujiro is moved he takes Masao to the beach,he goes to the highway bullies two bikers and gets a blue colored angel bell to make Masao happy.Masao rings the bell manytimes only tosee that maybe an angel will come down and take him to his mother and help him. This scene ends with Masao crying even more.
Then they go to the Shinto Shrine and Masao dreams of dancing Tengu ( Tengu's are supernatural creatures in japanese art & theatre, infact borrowed creatures from Chinese art creatures)
On the way back they meet the bikers again and again a whole fun trip with a camp and traditional games alongwith funny Red Indian Dance, to nude statues etc.
All this reminds Kikujiro of his own mother who abandoned him when he was a young boy, he goes to see her but never meets her. They continue for a few days making Masao happy and loved.
finally the bikers leave and the poet drops them back to Tokyo. Before Masao and Kikujiro part, Kikujiro says "Let's do it again sometime" and Masao thanks him. Kikujiro tells Masao to take care of his grandma.
Masao asks Kikujiro's name and Kikujiro answers "Kikujiro! Now scram!" Masao passes a small bridge with the Angel bell ringing while we see him in the distance.
The movie was very touching and explores many facets of the Japanese society. More so, if clearly shows how as human beings we are alienated and how each one us reacts due to it in most circumstances.
Masao & Kikujiro both depicting normal humans who are alienated inside and each respond in different way to vent out the isloation and coldness felt inside.
we might be living in a society or with people who appear to leading perfectly normal lives yet living in a sea of loneliness and isolation inside.
Interestingly Masao and Kikujiro along there journey realise and unknowningly always react everytime to situations due to there internal residents--anger, loneliness, sadness, non acceptance.
The various characters are almost socially non acceptable people who also seem to need to be valued and accepted for what they are.
Masao ringing the angel bell many a times in the hope of some miracle It was from their journey to Toyahashi they realise how alike they are though unsaid.The summer camp was nicely depicted showing the characters find comfort in each others isloation and learn to understand and value onself and others. It was touching to seehow Kikujiro does all he could to make a little sad boy happy again.. truly unconiditionally and how very much it is important to give.
In the end Masao and Kikujiro being friends and the once sad Masao turned into happy Masao running back home to his grandmother with the angel bells ringing and the now kind of nice, loving Kikujiro asking Masao "Lets do it again sometime" .
Well it as they said towards the end of the movie... the two of them end at a destination which neither of them could have imagined ( at least not without each other)
Monday, July 21, 2008
Little Boy
I read this on someone's blog, I found this touching so I thought it best to put up here too.....
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
ODE TO LOVE
Standing in front of the mirror read to my reflection, to myself and everything that lives within me & connects with me----MY ODE TO LOVE
Love is unreal, It creates confidence, faith, trust , happiness in self & the other. It means to love , care, give it all, be broken down and still love again. Forgive, try not to be hurt, be always open, understand that someones who loves you is open & giving her possessions/treasure of love, learn to value it .... Love...
Never disregard love for it might never come back to you. Listen, Talk,take care, trust are the essential ingredients mix them well always. Love is always beautiful, never let go off someone who loves you dearly, they probably love you more than his/her own life and soul. The person ..the love is worth it. LOVE, TRUST, CARE and life is wonderful....
The "I" in the mirror standing in front of me smiled and said... Just tell me this for once...
I (all of 25 years) standing in front of the mirror said to the " me" (all of 15 years) in the mirror...
Come let go sour fears.. way let be here ... From here starts the Ode to love
Love is unreal, It creates confidence, faith, trust , happiness in self & the other. It means to love , care, give it all, be broken down and still love again. Forgive, try not to be hurt, be always open, understand that someones who loves you is open & giving her possessions/treasure of love, learn to value it .... Love...
Never disregard love for it might never come back to you. Listen, Talk,take care, trust are the essential ingredients mix them well always. Love is always beautiful, never let go off someone who loves you dearly, they probably love you more than his/her own life and soul. The person ..the love is worth it. LOVE, TRUST, CARE and life is wonderful....
The "I" in the mirror standing in front of me smiled and said... Just tell me this for once...
- Who am I not who should I be
- Why am I here
- Where do I belong to
- Whom do I love
- Who loves me
- How can I be true to myself
I (all of 25 years) standing in front of the mirror said to the " me" (all of 15 years) in the mirror...
Come let go sour fears.. way let be here ... From here starts the Ode to love
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Cope & Reason for Hope
Piccaso (artist),Mark Vonnegut (son of the writer Kurt Vonnegut), John Nash (mathematician, winner of the Nobel Prize in economics and subject of the book and movie A Beautiful Mind) Syd Barrett (founder of Pink Floyd),Buddy Bolden (jazz pioneer),Eduard Einstein (son of Albert Einstein) are a few famous people who had Schizophrenia and yet were successful.
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It was about a sometime back when a young man of 20-25 years old was lying in the street in front of our house. My father had come back from the vegetable market ,when he saw the man. He immediately went to the young man who was trying to say something but couldnot express, he started telling about some strange stories. Some people standing around said that the young man was a mad & had problems in his head. He was crying as he hadnt eaten anything ,I suppose since morning/days.My mother made some paranthas and my father kept it in front of him, it was sad sight that he couldnot even properly hold it. Seeing this my mother was in tears and so was my father and then my father himself fed the young man thinking he was also someone's sick child.The young man ate then slept in the street, next morning he was no where to be found.It was days/weeks later my parents got to know, that the young man was practically disowned by his family members as he was diagnosed with mental illness some few years ago, they took care but later couldnot cope with him and was left on his own. Left to fight on his own with his mental illness of which he had no idea known to us as Schizophrenia.
Schizophrenia one out of the numerous mental illnesses. It orginates from the Greek word-- Schizien "to split" and Phren " the mind" thus -splitting of the mind. It is a psyhciatric diagnosis that describes mental disorder with respect to impairments in perceptions, delusions etc. Eugen Bleuler in 1908 first coined the term Schizophrenia.
A few symptoms are :- Hallucinations, Disintergrated & disorganized thinking, delusions,inapproriate reactions, psychosis etc.
The symptoms in children and adults are different.In the recent years it has been observed that its mostly occurs at about 18-25 years.Sad but true it cannot be cured, family members & loved ones are the people who can help one cope up with the illness.The ability to care for a schizophrenic is associated with emotional strength & determination , financial reserves & above all time.
Thus Family & loved ones are the BIGGEST HELP !!! It has been found out that family support is a biggest factor in improving from the situation.
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It was about a sometime back when a young man of 20-25 years old was lying in the street in front of our house. My father had come back from the vegetable market ,when he saw the man. He immediately went to the young man who was trying to say something but couldnot express, he started telling about some strange stories. Some people standing around said that the young man was a mad & had problems in his head. He was crying as he hadnt eaten anything ,I suppose since morning/days.My mother made some paranthas and my father kept it in front of him, it was sad sight that he couldnot even properly hold it. Seeing this my mother was in tears and so was my father and then my father himself fed the young man thinking he was also someone's sick child.The young man ate then slept in the street, next morning he was no where to be found.It was days/weeks later my parents got to know, that the young man was practically disowned by his family members as he was diagnosed with mental illness some few years ago, they took care but later couldnot cope with him and was left on his own. Left to fight on his own with his mental illness of which he had no idea known to us as Schizophrenia.
Schizophrenia one out of the numerous mental illnesses. It orginates from the Greek word-- Schizien "to split" and Phren " the mind" thus -splitting of the mind. It is a psyhciatric diagnosis that describes mental disorder with respect to impairments in perceptions, delusions etc. Eugen Bleuler in 1908 first coined the term Schizophrenia.
A few symptoms are :- Hallucinations, Disintergrated & disorganized thinking, delusions,inapproriate reactions, psychosis etc.
The symptoms in children and adults are different.In the recent years it has been observed that its mostly occurs at about 18-25 years.Sad but true it cannot be cured, family members & loved ones are the people who can help one cope up with the illness.The ability to care for a schizophrenic is associated with emotional strength & determination , financial reserves & above all time.
Thus Family & loved ones are the BIGGEST HELP !!! It has been found out that family support is a biggest factor in improving from the situation.
- Family should not shun responsiblity of the person,not to feel ashamed that someone in the family has it.
- Acceptance is very important.Cursing your fate, feeling guilty, blaming one another never helps. Mourn, forgive and move on. To act out of resentment & drama between family memebers makes it worse for the person being treated also.
- It is a MEDICAL ILLNESS and requires treatment with responsbility.
- It is NO ONE's FAULT, essential that the person is diagnosed & treated well.
- A caring, safe environment that allows for as much freedom of action is very much required,Hostility & criticism in the environment at home should be reduced or eliminated.
- Important that the person takes prescribed medication as per the doses and family members need to ensure that it strictly followed else it leads to severe relapse.
- In extreme cases side effects to person happens thus important to inform the doctor at very onset.
- Educate oneself with the pattern of the schizophrenic person. Relapses are frequent , some patience is required--emotional straining does no good.
- Indiviual psychotherapy is essential for the person.
- Essential to make a daily rountine atleast an attempt is required. If possible help them work and find a job. Yes-- A Job !!
- Compliment the person on achieving goals, remember criticism does a lot of harm.
- Set attainable goals for them.
- Realize that caring for the person is emotionally, mentally, physically tiring & exhausting. Important to take care of yourself too.
- Often spouses, children or parents get drained to a very large extend in the caring process -- after effects show later.
- Important to have regular meetings with the doctor, and keep note of the behaviorial pattern in the person & discuss on evey meeting.
- Talk to the person frequently, listen to them esp when they are in trouble.
- Sometime Schizophrenics get into Substance abuse like marijuna, or other drugs under no state and the person should get into that situation before or after diagnosis.
- Boost up the moral confidence of the person, they can lead normal, independent & satisfying lives too just like any of us.
So this in the end,the single most important thing: Is to love, care, appreciate and help the patient move ahead and live anIndependent life like an independent indiviual. Thank you for reading this article and if you ever come across a person with Schizophreniatry and help them in some way. Worse thing to do is to leave the person dieing on the road and let them cope with illness by themselves.
So Always Take care & cope with a reason called as HOPE.Just for Kicks-Disorder in American Courts
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Disclaimer: Please read at your own risk. :))...:))
****ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
***ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot
***ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan
***ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo
***ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one
**ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: You're kidding me, right
***ATTORNEY: She had three children, is that correct?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a differentattorney. Can I get a new attorney?
**ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it
***ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess
**ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work
**ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on deadpeople?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like torephrase that question
**ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question
**ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral
**ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing anautopsy on him
**ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, hedoesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam
And the best for last: ---****ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for apulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you beganthe autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, he could have been alive and practicing law.*
Disclaimer: Please read at your own risk. :))...:))
****ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks
***ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot
***ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan
***ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo
***ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one
**ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: You're kidding me, right
***ATTORNEY: She had three children, is that correct?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a differentattorney. Can I get a new attorney?
**ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it
***ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess
**ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work
**ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on deadpeople?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like torephrase that question
**ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question
**ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral
**ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing anautopsy on him
**ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, hedoesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam
And the best for last: ---****ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for apulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you beganthe autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, he could have been alive and practicing law.*
Friday, June 20, 2008
Nana- "Carrom Board"
The train reached the platform no. 8, everyone whom Papa had gone to receive came alongwith him in the brand new car. They all drove from the station to home.The car reached home,everyone got down and Mumma greeted everyone and showed them their rooms.When Mumma showed Nana his room,he spoke to Mumma.Nana- "Where are the children?"
Mumma- " They must be playing, yeh these days they are just learning some games"
Nana-" Hmmm... u must be teaching them"
Mumma ( changing the sofa & bed sheets)-" Not much time, so they learn usually by themselves, ready for lunch"
Nana- "Gimme a few minutes"
Mumma went to make the dinning table for Lunch. Nana went to the lawn, he saw Lil Bulie Boy smiling ( with his new found teeth showing). Nana dint see her, he went outside, searched around and went straight to the new by cars.Not so much surprised, after looking under the 4 th car he saw Mishti lying under the 5th car.
Nana-"Shoo, dirty girl why ar u hiding here"
Mishti (innocently)- " Oh Nana, when did u come?"
Nana- " Liar, I knew u saw us and immediately ran away to hide, Bad"
Mishti- " U come and I can't play and I am now 8 years 3 months old and i need to play".
Nana- " Come out, I have surprises for you"
Mishti came out, brushing her blue frock. Nana & Mishti went home. After lunch Mishti forced Nana to show her the surprises. Nana took both Mishti & Lil Bulie Boy to his room.
Mishti- "Nana only me not for Lil Bulie Boy"
Nana- " No not good, he will also get surprises"
Mishti ( angry & teasing)- " No not for this Lil Mule Mop"
Lil Bulie Boy- " I am not Mule Mop okay... U stupid... U are Misho ( meaning Liar)"
At this both started fighting, Nana somehow stopped them and gave each a present, Mishti one pink bowed frock & Lil Bulie Boy a superman dress. Then there was a third present, for which theyboth fought, again. To their surprise it was a common present- A Carrom Board.
Lil Bulie Boy- "Nana, we have been trying to learn Carrom for last one month, we play with Pally the boy with the carrom board"
Mishti- " Wow, now we have our own Carrom Board, Oh No, but this is a very old one ".
Nana- "" Yes, but it is yours now"
Nana smiled and all three of them went where everyone was having lunch.
Within a few days, Nana taught both Mishti & Lil Bulie Boy - The Carrom game. On winning the their respective games with the other children in the block, both Mishti & Lil Bulie Boy came jumping back home
Within a few days, Nana taught both Mishti & Lil Bulie Boy - The Carrom game. On winning the their respective games with the other children in the block, both Mishti & Lil Bulie Boy came jumping back home
Mishti- "Nana Nana... I won 5 games"
Lil Bulie Boy- " Nana Nana...I won 1 game".
Nana-" Hi Fi, Good Job"
Lil Bulie Boy-" Nana I could have won more if I had a new Carrom Board, this is blinding"
Nanajust smiled and went back to read an Urdu Book on his relaxing chairMishti & Lil Bulie Boy went to their room but they cudnt find their "OWn Carrom Board"
Mishti- "Nana Nana, the "Old Carrom Board is missing", its not there"
Lil Bulie Boy (crying)-" Mishti, Nana, No carrom board"
Nana (surprised)- " Oh is it"
Lil Bulie Boy still crying & Mishti on the verge of crying. Suddenly a voice came from behind.
Mumma- " Hey turn around"
Both of them turned around and saw Mumma holding a new Carrom Board with a note. Both jumped with joy saying Yipee Yippee.Then they turned and saw a note stuck on it which read -
Mishti & Lil Bulie Boy Congratualtions, there is nothing more I want than you both to be always jumping with joy.You both will grow up to be very good human beings, of which I am sure. Always work hard & you will get what you deserve.Never hurt anyone, always love the person who loves you, very few people genuinely love you of which I am one.Love Nana
Both hugged and kissed Nana, saying - " We love you Nana and you are the best"
Mishti- " Even when I grow old, and you are old too, I will still love you, you will miss me right"
Nana (smiling with tears)-" Yes I will always care & love you, even long after I have died"
There was little that both Mishti & Lil Bulie Boy understood then ( something which they would understand later).
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Nana- " Butterscotch Ice-cream"
Butterscotch Ice-Cream 
She "(shouted from the Main Gate) -"Nana Nana Nana... I am back home... Nana Nana" saying this she became Silent.
Nana-" Come to the Dinning Hall, your favourite dishes for lunch is here"
Again there was silence, Nana got a little worried.
Nana (called out again)--" Yohoo....Butterscotch Icecream after lunch, quickly quickly I am counting 1-2-3-4-5".
Again there was silence, Nana was now even more worried. Hurriedly Nana started searching the house,the terrace, the lawn but still couldnt find her. Quickly he traced his steps to the window on the left wall in Main Hall from the Entrance.
Then he turned towards to the lawn to open the window from outside & he was shocked again for the nth time.... Mishti was sitting all folded between the wide grills of the window & happily eating ButterScotch Icecream.
Mishti jumped and went straight to Nani. Nana closed the window & angrily went to Nani's room to scold Mishti. Seeing Nana Mishti started crying loudly.
Mishti- " Nana Nana I am hurt.. my legs are scratched from that window grill see, its hurting now".
Nana quickly got a dettol bottle & cotton to clean Mishti's wounds. Mishti started crying again. Nana -" You are a small girl and when small girls get hurt they cry loudly".
Hearing this Mishti got angry and went to her room & shut the door. Nana went inside the room & saw Mishti lying on her bed with green & pink flowers and crying. He knew why she was crying .
Nana (saying teasingly)- " My Small girl.. little baby"
Mishti - " You are bad Nana, you make me cry, I will never talk to you"
Nana( sweetly)- " Okay don't talk, but this Butterscotch ice-cream in the bowl is waiting for you"
Mishti - " No, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I dont want your Ice cream, please leave my room"
Nana got up & went to watch TV in his room. After an hour Mishti was feeling hungry as it was 3 pm she went tothe Kitchen and saw all kinds of tasty items cooked for lunch, only eaten by Nani.
Nana got up & went to watch TV in his room. After an hour Mishti was feeling hungry as it was 3 pm she went tothe Kitchen and saw all kinds of tasty items cooked for lunch, only eaten by Nani.
Mishti thought- "Nani eats at 1pm, Nana eats with me at 2 pm, but looks like no one has eaten today, why what is the matter".
She went back to her room without eating anything, she thought of her fight with Nana & how bad Nana has become & frowned.She suddenly recalled something & rushed to Nana's room at 3:35pm.
Mishti- " Nana why dint you & Nani have your tasty lunch"
Nana (angrily)- " I dont want to eat that tasty lunch any more"
Nana was fixated to the TV. Mishti went back & came back to Nana's room at 4:15 pm with a tray of few tasty lunchfood in it.
Mishti(crying)- "Nana sorry I-the big girl missed saying this-- Happy Birthday Nana & I dont hate you".
She took a spoonful of rice & curry & then Nana's favourite ButterScotch Ice-cream & gave it to him for she knew he had not eaten since morning for he wished only to celebrate his 60th Birthday with Mishti (whom he dearly loved) at lunch & hear the words again "Happy Birthday"(which no one had remembered or said to him in the last 30 years ).
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Starry Starry Night says Chiki Miki
Starry Starry Night;Potraits Hung in empty halls;
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget;
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes;
The silver thorn, a bloody rose;
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.
Now I think I know;What you tried to say, to me;
And how you suffered for your sanity;And how you tried to set them free:They would not listen; they're not listening still
--Perhaps they never will..........
I rewinded my favorite song again. Suddenly there was knock at my door. I saw Chiki-Miki standing on the door. Chiki-Miki was staring at the pink and grey checkered floor, he walked into my room and like always kept standing, I had to force him to sit.Today he sat comfortably on the bed as opposed to the ancient chair in the room near the window.Suddenly he started talking as opposed to nodding his head.
Chiki Miki said-- "You were listening to Starry Starry nights by Don Mclean. Can I hear it too?" I gave him my old sony walkman of school.
After listening Chiki Miki said-- "You know this song Don Mclean wrote in 1971 for Vincent,Vincent van Gogh-- the famous painter, a dutch/ finnish, I suppose. He had a deep admiration for Vincent as a man too.He makes reference to his famous paintings of luminous orange, yellow flowers, self potraits, landscapes etc. in the song. But you know he was in Saint Remy still he painted with his mind"
I knew Chiki Miki was a very good painter since he was a child of 3, he had painted, sketched, crafted many drawings, won competitions tillhe was hospitalised when he was 16years 2 months old.
Chiki Miki said-- " I am 20 and I am remebering things, i can differentiate, i can hold the spoon and eat by myself, I can read and u know I can hold the brush too, the pen too. Do you want to see how i hold the brush."
I rushed and gave a Round size 6 paint brush, paints & sheet even when i knew his favorite is the rigged size 5 brush.He was earlier very particular paint brushes, colors, sheets, canvses, glasses, stones, pots etc....He painted a beautiful deer.
Chiki Miki said--" You know last one month i have been trying to tell you, I can now hold the brush but I cud never speak.You know of my illness, I sometimes even now keep hearing strange voices in my head, motionless, can't gather my thoughts and words,Like many others I keep staring without blinking like I am fixated in a rigid pose for hours like Catatonia. You are suprised how I know it.. I am ill , of what I dont know . At 20 i am better I remember my colors and brushes.You understand me , right even when i am quiet. "
I was quiet and smiled saying Yes. He kept sitting comfortably on the bed for about 16 minutes staring again, this time at the painting.After this he got up to go, I stopped him and pulled out a new pack of paints, brushes & canvas.
Chiki Miki Said-" I cudnt hold the brush then, when Papa got these for me 4 years back and I threw them away, so these paints got angry with me.They dont know how much I love them. Can I take them back in my life."
He began to cry, I was happy--he finally wanted his colors again.Chiki Miki took the things, going back to his room. He turned around and said--- " Thanks Nasty, you are the best sister. I will go with you to the resturant & eat food properly, next time." He left.
I smiled and switched on the walkman--- Don Mclean's lyrics ---
Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul...
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chillsIn colors on the snowy linen land.
Now I understand, What you tried to say, to me
And how you suffered for your sanity, And how you tried to set them free:
They would not listen; they did not know how
--Perhaps they'll listen now ----
Ps- The picture is the painting by Van Gogh--Starry Nights
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Weeping Red Cherries
Kare-- " This jade studded barette is very pretty, very nice when it was clipped on the left side.Mato-- " Yes very pretty, hey look books and songs in the shelf"." Neat arent they".
Kare--" Hmmm...I never knew in the shelfs there were books, she never mentioned".
Mato-- " I wish i could've read them, like it was wanted". Pause,"Hey look there is a packet here."
Kare-- " Neat aint it, addressed to whom Mato."
Mato-- " It says " For Mr. Kare Tomo, Please open it when you receive it, here take it, open it now as it says".
Kare (opening the packet)-- " It has a few books, cassette, a pink fan and painting of red cherries, These are for me all my favourite unread books like i once mentioned."
Mato-- " Lets hear the cassette" .
Kare inserted the cassette in the tape recorder. It played read with some songs of John denver, Extreme, Metallica, Dido, alanis, Jewel sung in between by Shamisoi. After the cassette is re-run and heard some 3 times, Mato gets up to switch it off.
Mato-- " You know who sung these songs and why?"
Kare staring towards to the tape recorder.
Mato-- " Here a sweater and mittens knitted for you, I was told to give you when you come,hope it fits.This fan has two eyes painted, wonder how one could paint !!! On the other side it says "
I look in these eyes thinking they are yours
And I see my reflection in these eyes,
Only if you knew how much you mean to me,
I always keep finding you in my heart."
Kare still staring with a prolonged silence between them.
Mato-- " You liked eating red cherries dint you when since you first met. "
Kare looking at Mato.
Kare looking at Mato.
Mato-- " I knew it all this while".
Kare--" She loved me, she always wanted me to stop her from leaving,apologise to her for hurting her, for stealing her from her own heart. I never saw inside her, I was so insensitive, never listened to her. All this while she loved me, she truly loved me --like she said no one can love you more than i do. Even when I knew she loved & cared for me I never accepted her, worst all this while I felt the same for her.I betrayed my own heart,I was always stuck in my past & my selfishness, I hurted her so much .Mato my budd --I love Shamisoi very much, with all my heart, I will always keep her happy for the rest of my life."
Kare lifting his bag--" Come lets go and meet her I will tell her I love her songs, her fans, the sweater and red cherries , everything."
Mato stopped turned his face around towards the willowy weeping window.
Kare (agitated )-- " Come Budd lets go, she is waiting for me".
Mato-- " You can never tell Shamisoi how much you love her, she is now waiting only in your heart, I will too never see her again, no one will see her ever again".
With this Mato left Kare in Shamisoi's room to unburden his heart with tears and sorrow.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Emptiness
Emptiness, that bridge to far, I've tried so many times to cross that bar,
I've tried my best
Even bought a friend, but that proved fruitless in the end!
Time and age are against I am told!
Relentless each and every day, they all pass by and go on their way,
A knowing smile a friendly wave, would these same people surround my grave?
No time to chat, no inclination I've lived my life still on probation,
I know we all must die alone, why pay the bill to a silent phone,
The television my link with life, I sleep all alone
What will dawn bring, will I hear the bellbird deep inside the bush
Or feed the common garden ,
Maybe the sun will come out today,
Showing blue skies instead of grey there's hope,
There's life, I need to feel, the love of life so I can heal .
PS-I read this somewhere, not sure when & where exactly.
Monday, May 19, 2008
My- Nu Shu
My-Nu Shu --Titli
Titli (Butterfly)woke up early at 5:30 am, thinking about the lost time she had to make up for the presentation scheduled post-lunch. She hurriedly started working and was all set to go for work by 9 am.
Post- lunch the presentation went well, she was applauded for the first time by her new boss.
Titli thought "Oh a wonderful day, i also got my first appreciation letter".
She went back to her desk to meet her colleagues, but there was stink of jealousy & ignorance from everyone even from her so called "budd-friends".
Titli thought " Why are my friends ignoring me instead of sharing my happiness, no one is now even talking to me"
She went back to her desk to call her parents, but then again there was stink of ignorance & irrelevance.
Titli thought " why are my parents always unhappy with me no matter what I achieve".
She was very disappointed, there was no-body she could talk & understand her.
Titli thought " I am not going to cry today, not at all it is my day and I have earned it, neither will I talk to myself in the mirror"
She boarded the work bus back for her apartment, she had tears in her eyes but was holding back as she had promised to herself to be happy. Walking back to her apartment she saw the old woman who has been begging for months near the lane. The old-woman was abandoned and no-one knew wher she came from.
Like everyday Titli dropped the one rupee coin in the old-woman's bowl and for the first time the old-woman spoke and said--" Khush raho ( Always be happy)".
Titli walked away still with the tears sitting on the edge in her eyes, suddenly she re-called that everyone says the old-woman is deaf and dumb.
She quickly paced back to the old-woman, squatted on the lane and looked at the old-woman in the face and held her hand.
Titli said " Amma, tum bol sakti ho, sun sakti ho" ( Amma, u can talk and hear).
Old-Woman just nodded her head.
Titli said " Amma, fir tum bolti kyon nahi ho, sab ko lagta hai ki tum behari aur goongi ho" ( amma, then why dont you talk, everyone thinks your are deaf and dumb)
Old-woman again just nodded her head.
Titli still with tears on the edge making sure they donot fall said " Amma fir aaj kyon boli tum" (Amma, why did u talk today)
Old woman said " Beti kyonki aaj tumne paach rupiya ka sikha diya and poori do rotiyan bhi, par fir bhi tum roz ki tarah mujhe--- apna "ello" nahi kaha, tum bhi mujhe bhul gayi"( Beti, becos today you gave me 5 rupees and two rotis, but u didnot greet me, I thought you also forgot me).
Titli with tears flowing on her cheeks said- " Amma, I am lonely, no one needs me, my parents,friends, my boyfriend everyone ignores me no-one cares for me, they have there own worlds and I fit in no-where in theirs, they dont even have time or interest in living with me,
no one to share even my happiness, let aside my sorrows. I am very lonely and empty and worst no one sees it. '
Tilti was endlessly crying on the lane in front of the old-woman with a bowl. Suddenly she realised after a few mintues where she was sitting, and lifted her head
facing the Old-woman who was in tears saying " Beti, sab theek ho jayega, sab yahin is sansar mein hai ( everything will be okk, everything is here in this world .
Titli walked back to her apartment and first time in days together slept off without talking to herself and reading about Nu Shu.
In the next apartment, a little girl of 9 years who heard and saw the incident thought " Why are people unhappy, why do people stop valuing the person they love the most, why do we stop loving and giving as we grow old". " Here who was worse- the smart Titli Aunti or Quiet old- Amma".
She again got back to reading about Nu Shu in her bed.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
An Evening at Tim Tam Cafetaria.
An Evening at Tim-Tam Cafetaria
MeiMei- " Hi Fifi, Hi Cece, how is life going on?" ,( Saying it in super- excited, charged up mode as always)
Fifi- "Yeh life is Good !! "
Cece- "Good as always ",( as he smokes his cigarette). " So Fifi what kind of man are you looking for?"
Fifi- (staring at Cece) "Do u really want to know??"
Cece- "Ofcourse I would want to know".
Fifi- "Well I am educated woman, professionally sound, smart looking woman. I can pay my own bills, take care of my family, good friends, i drive my own car, travel the world over, with all the money i have buy a house & everything I want. Interestingly today I am in a position to ask- I have it all."
" what can you bring to the table", I'll ask.
Cece- (Frowning, jumping from his chair) "You mean in terms of position, status, money. Is that all you want ."Money & financial security""
Fifi- (Staring at Cece again)- " Its not materialistic security, its much more than that."
- I am looking for man who believes in communication & mental simulation.
- I am looking for man who understands emotions & the insecurities alongwith it, by not get hassled. Who
believes in togetherness and not our relationship as second option or worth of second opinions.
- I am looking for a man who believes in the sancity of the relationship
- I am looking for a man whom I respect,as he respects "us", he never takes my submissiveness or love for
granted. I will never have issues stepping back for making together a home.
-I am looking for a man who is sensitive to understand what as woman I feel & go through.
- I am looking for man who is willing to move ahead financially, emotionally & spiritually in life- together
connected yet being indiviuals.
Cece- (Aghast, with his mouth wide open & dropping his cigarette in the ash tray)- "You are asking for lot, especially from me, my Love Fifi."
Fifi-(standing up,adjusting her tight black skirt )- " Becos I am worth, truly worth a lot."
Cece kept staring at Fifi as she winked & walked on the pavement outside the Tim-Tam Italian cafetaria towards her car.
Meimei- (thinking)In this era where people fall in and out in relationships or rather love, how important yet so difficult is to realise our own worth, self-respect not arrogance. Sometimes it is so important to say to your ownself that you love your self, you are ure own person- Who is real & worth of every single happiness, who has the power of loving, giving & in turn receiving it all. Its not only about money, living, sleeping together, but an unsaid trust, understanding, sensitiveness between two people.So you can together say that every moment you live together with one another is WORTH IT. Cos I am WORTHY to be HAPPY.
With this MeiMei thought of the night before of unhappiness & thought aloud - " I am not a second fiddle to anyone".
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I am Real - Really !!!
I am Real
" What is real" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day, when Hobbyhorse & Velveteen Rabbit were lying side by side, before Nana came to tidy up the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick -out handle?
" Real isnt how you are made up " said the Skin Hobby Horse." Its something that happens to you".When a child loves you for long , long time, not just play with you, but really loves you then you become real".
"Does it hurt", asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes" said the Skin Horse, as he was always truthful.When you are real, you dont mind being hurt.
"it doesnt happen all at once", said the Skin Horse.
"You become real, it takes long time. That's why it doesnt happen to people who break, or have sharp edges, or have carefully kept their treasure of self & love. Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, you can be shabby & maybe penniless by then. But things dont matter at all, because once you are real, you cannot be ugly at all,except to people who dont understand
I am Real... Thought the Velveteen rabbit and So did I :)
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sptunik- Art of conversation
'Sptunik'
Cece (in his mind- Lost in his thoughts)- hello, How are u?
Fifi- ( in her thoughts, upset & sad)- I am very good, absolutely fine. How about you Cece?
Cece- ( upset over being sacked from company)- Oh, I am doing fantastic, great life.
Well this is what is usually our mode of conversation, our practiced art of conversation in our dayto day life. We as a practice tend to talk more & hardly communicate, hardly do we believe in effective listening.
I clearly recall my confession within ( not publicly) of being talktative ( though 100 % non communicative) &bad listener (though understanding ;)). Having feeling this over and over again of non communicative and faltu (aimless) talk at work & home.I decided to work late in my office to avoid "faltu talk syndrome" caught on me all these years, i felt wonderful. But again it made me more upset & sad as I dint have a single soul to converse in this ever growing population of friends & acquitance list.Finally i did meet somebody with whom I felt I could effectively converse, but i guess i failed miserably in effective listening & negative talk section.
Interestingly, it makes me feel we all are as chartacers of a story we struggle to connect but sometimes we just stop communicating with our own self.Like Sptunik we remain lonely despite the endless chit chat & talking all around.It becomes simultaneosuly mundane, disturbing where everything is a cockpit of losing of identity ,complete isolation & alienation despite Talk-people around. Sad but this is what most people feel in today's borrowed world of so called "Conversation" leading to epitome of loneliness.
The very essence of conversation is "Relationship"-- which is with the subject or person or idealogy or comapnionship or actually mutual exchange of ideas. I guess in private conversations we lose the essence of " relationship" which is again seperating discussion( confronting a certain point as right or wrong) from conversation ( to learn/connect about others their opinion,expereinces, nature etc.) i.e: building trust. I dont remember meeting anyone in a long time who considers an indiviual a fascinating human being- who is prone to making mistakes yet we in our chains of ego keep letting go the beautiful moments.
Considering the current realm its important to be a good listener- it means not hearing but effective listening, which means giving to others emotionally. Avoid interrupting ( i am saying this to myself),dont anticipatethe discussion to end so u can make ure point, not to make sharp reply else it makes the person defensive, no fighting, confrontation. Really important to understand :) & build environment of trust.Most important in towards world we make
Conversation as reason to escape from reality. Negative talks are a strict no no...:), sometimes all it takes it saying sorry and letting go off the ego. Its eventually the relationship which has to be the core & thus win than the indiviualstic ego.
Conversation is a tool of creation; it pulls us out of isolation, builds connections & strengthens our connection with the beautiful people who are a part of our lives and expands our world.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Tippy Tippy Tap- Which color do you want
Tippy Tippy Tap
I was trying to understand the concepts explained by My Chemistry teacher in XII standard sitting on the first seat of the first row when i was all of 16. On the extreme end were Richa & Khyobeni sitting also on the first seat,staring blankly at the blackboard. P.S: naughty & weak students were made to sit on the first seat.Suddenly i turned my head to the left to stare at the window panes, Richa & khyobeni turned their heads right & for no reason we started smiling & laughing. Our Chemistry teacher noted this laughter session between the rows & scolded us. But as they say never say never mind- the laughter sessions along with the package of scolding& being thrown out of the classroom continued till the end of the year.
It reminds of also of my distant cousin Rani who was my friend too when I used to visit my village. Of all the fun i had of bathing in the river canal,of trying to run in the maize fields,smelling & touching the yellow flowers in the fields, of talking secretly about some boy, staring at the stars in the night,drinking lassi from the brass tumbler, trying hold the horns of the buffalo, running around after the hens & the chickens, of teaching her & others tippy tippy tap etc. etc.
These memories struck me when I got in touch with Richa after years together possibly a decade. O' how much I miss all of my care + free days & classmates whom I have known since i was 3 1/2 years old till i was 17. Childhood days were fun.There was happiness,laughter, child-like or kiddish innocene,trust,freedom from thought or what will happen next. We just laughed our hearts out with any pain or remorse or recalling any pain.
Happiness cos of the freedom of not looking beyond the current. Infact had no clue about these hi-fi words as mentioned.
Where are the carefree roads of happiness !!!
That is the land of lost content
I see it shining plain,
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.
But again I sometimes feel the openess & happiness of childhood still calling-
Come on people move
For I (childhood) is calling
time to get up and groove
there is no time for stalling
your life has just begun
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Mara & Maya- Deaf & Stupid
I sought to learn. It was the self I wanted to free myself & overcome. I wasnot able to overcome it, I could only decieve it, flee from it & hide from it. There is nothing in this world I know less about than myself.That I know nothing about myself, that has remained alien and unkown to me,stems caused from one cause to one single cause:
A cause:I am afraid of myself, I am & was fleeing from myself.I searched and searched,I was dissecting myself, brutually peeling of the layers to find the core of each peel, each entity, a part.I have lost myself in that process.
Long dreams flowed from high to toe. Like the flowing water with all tides & their breath.
No longer do i begin my thoughts & life - looking beyond and the suffering of the self, u & the world.I donot want to kill & dissect myself any longer, to find the secret of the ruins. Neither the Vedas, nor the atma, nor any teachings of search teach no more. I want learn of myself , want to be a student, want to know myself,the secret of me.The secret of Siddartha.
Siddartha-Purpose & essence is not behind the things, they are in them, within them.
How deaf & Stupid I have been !! Mara & Maya
A cause:I am afraid of myself, I am & was fleeing from myself.I searched and searched,I was dissecting myself, brutually peeling of the layers to find the core of each peel, each entity, a part.I have lost myself in that process.
Long dreams flowed from high to toe. Like the flowing water with all tides & their breath.
No longer do i begin my thoughts & life - looking beyond and the suffering of the self, u & the world.I donot want to kill & dissect myself any longer, to find the secret of the ruins. Neither the Vedas, nor the atma, nor any teachings of search teach no more. I want learn of myself , want to be a student, want to know myself,the secret of me.The secret of Siddartha.
Siddartha-Purpose & essence is not behind the things, they are in them, within them.
How deaf & Stupid I have been !! Mara & Maya
Friday, January 18, 2008
जीवन नही मारा करता है ॥
शुप शुप अश्रु बहाने वालों , मोती व्यर्थ लुटाने वालों
कुछ सावन के बह जाने से जीवन नही मारा करता ।
खोता कुछ भी नही यहाँ पर, केवल जिलाद बदलती पोथी
जैसे रात उतर चंदिनी, पहने है सुबह धुप कि धोती।।
डूबे बिना नहाने वालों , जले बिना रोने वालों,
कुछ सावन के बह जाने से जीवन नही मारा करता है॥
माला बिखर गयी तू क्या है, खुद ही हाल हो गयी समायासा
अन्न्सून गर नीलम हुए तू , समझों पूरी हुई सम्यासा॥
लूट लिया माली ने उपवन , लूटी न लेकिन गंद फूल कि
कुछ आंगन के बह जाने से जीवन नही मारा करता है॥
टूट गया दिल का शीशा, टूटी न लेकिन मन कि राह,
कुछ अशिअनाओं के बूज जाने से , जीवन नही मारा करता है॥ ॥
कुछ सावन के बह जाने से जीवन नही मारा करता ।
खोता कुछ भी नही यहाँ पर, केवल जिलाद बदलती पोथी
जैसे रात उतर चंदिनी, पहने है सुबह धुप कि धोती।।
डूबे बिना नहाने वालों , जले बिना रोने वालों,
कुछ सावन के बह जाने से जीवन नही मारा करता है॥
माला बिखर गयी तू क्या है, खुद ही हाल हो गयी समायासा
अन्न्सून गर नीलम हुए तू , समझों पूरी हुई सम्यासा॥
लूट लिया माली ने उपवन , लूटी न लेकिन गंद फूल कि
कुछ आंगन के बह जाने से जीवन नही मारा करता है॥
टूट गया दिल का शीशा, टूटी न लेकिन मन कि राह,
कुछ अशिअनाओं के बूज जाने से , जीवन नही मारा करता है॥ ॥
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
One Day- Kahin Kisi Roz Hamri Dilli Mein- Part 1
Witness to the days- By a child.
I was barely 4 years old when one fine day i was sent back home from my school. I reached & throughout the day was playing in the playground right before my house- unperturbed by the tides of day. Like all times my mother came from work & shouting at me to come inside the house. It was around 4 pm.
It was around 6 pm, then 6:30 pm my father had not arrived home. Some neighboring uncles and aunties were saying something to my mother. She was in tears.
My mother & I hurriedly went near to pick up point for my father's bus but there was no sign, we then went to the market to buy for some vegetables.
There was a Sardarji uncle wailing & crying in RK Puram Sec 4/5 market asking people to drop him home in Munirka .Just within a few minutes some other Uncles came and took him away somewhere I don’t know. It was getting dark we had bought vegetables and were hurriedly going home, it was dark my father was still not home.
I saw tears in her eyes; she was standing in the balcony waiting for him like she never waited before. It was 31st October.
My father returned and I could see tears of happiness in my mother's eyes, I was still unaware and as usual crying to go out and play in the pitch dark.
All I knew was father was saved from the clutches of death & he reached home with great difficulty.
The Sardarji uncle whom his friends took away somewhere was burnt alive in the vegetable market of RK Puram; He never went back to Munirka where his wife & small children were waiting for him.
The block next to us where another Sardarji Uncle and his children lived were pulled out & burnt alive with tyres.
A Sardarji uncle going to his home in East Delhi could never make it to his children, everybody refused to take him even the DTC bus to one of the worst hit areas. Few Sardarji uncles & their sons were forced out of their homes in Palam Colony, their were put on fire by burning their hair & then dousing them with fire.
Some Sardarni Aunties were raped in front of their sons & husbands & fathers. Their homes were looted, their life was ruined like the ashes. One sardarji uncle was a truck driver he was driving the Oil tanker truck he were put on fire with his tank, his children also never saw him again. Many Gurdwaras were burnt with people live & doused with kerosene & burnt alive including children & women
This was the year 1984.
Father lifted his Padgi/Turban to cut his Kesh on 1st Novemeber 1984 around 10 am with tears & terror in his eyes for the night he witnessed & the future just waiting outside. Outside At 10 am the Gujjars were searching for the Sardars in RK Puram in the voters list in Ration Shop. Thankfully they crossed our house /block but never located us in the voter's lsit or at home. This was another fateful day of 1984.
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